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Playboy Advisor: My Girlfriend Hates Internet Porn
  • March 31, 2014 : 07:03
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My girlfriend hates most of the porn she finds on the internet. Can you recommend some high-quality porn films that have a plot? We don’t want to fall asleep watching a boring French movie with characters who do nothing but talk about their problems.

—G.H., Vienna, Austria

Swedish director Erika Lust is widely regarded as the best producer of female-friendly pornographic films. Her website Lustcinema.com is a sort of Netflix of erotica. For a monthly fee you can access hundreds of narrative-driven adult movies, many of them from Europe, that feature attractive men and women but with intelligence and production values rare in the adult-film industry. If a quickie is all you’re after, Lust’s new site, xconfessions.com, features short films based on fan-submitted fantasies, one of which explores the erotic potential of watching your partner assemble Ikea furniture.

Is there such a thing as an anti-fetish? By that I mean something most people find attractive and sexy, or at the very least innocuous, that has the opposite effect on other folks? For me it’s high heels. I can’t stand them. Any other type of footwear—sandals, boots, flats—or no footwear at all is fine with me. But when I see a woman in heels, whether it’s on the street, on TV or in your magazine, I immediately lose interest. A good percentage of the porn out there does nothing for me because of the prevalence of heels in many of the scenes. Strippers? Forget about it. The biggest problem is that I don’t understand what’s behind my dislike. Have you ever heard of something like this?

—C.D., Murfreesboro, Tennessee

Of course. It’s called a turnoff. The possible reasons for your aversion are numerous: Maybe you subconsciously see spiky heels as a potential castrating weapon—a sort of footwear version of the vagina dentata. Maybe the added height they give a woman is threatening to your manhood. Maybe you suffered some early-childhood trauma at the hands of a woman in high heels. Maybe you have good taste in shoes and can tell that the high heels in most porn are cheap and tacky. But the important thing is you know what you like. Just don’t be a jerk and share your distaste with a woman in heels—try to see her for who she is, not what she wears. If it weren’t for male shoe fetishists and porn producers, it’s unlikely any woman would wear high heels in bed.

I’m considering a Prince Albert penis piercing. What kind of sexual advantages and disadvantages will this present for me and my girlfriend?

—D.M., Cincinnati, Ohio

The biggest bummer about a Prince Albert (a barbell-like piercing that goes through the urethra at the tip of the penis) is the fact that you can’t have sex or masturbate for upward of six weeks as you wait for the piercing to heal. Additionally you’re at an increased risk for exposure to sexually transmitted infections through micro tears from the piercing. The upside to the Prince Albert is increased pressure and stimulation for you—and for her. But the latter can be hit or miss depending on her sensitivity and how your anatomies fit together. If it proves uncomfortable, once you’ve completely healed you can always take out the piercing before sex.

For answers to reasonable questions relating to food and drink, fashion and taste, sex and dating, write the Playboy Advisor, 9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210, or email advisor@playboy.com.

read more: Sex and Dating, playboy advisor, magazine, advice, porn, issue april 2014

2 comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Wait, so this wasn't Playboy's April Fools article?
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