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The Pickup: How to Dress to Pick Up Women
  • June 08, 2012 : 05:06
  • comments

Do you care about fashion? Do you know what’s “in” this summer and What Not to Wear? No? Me neither. Couldn’t care less about fashion — except when it comes to meeting and attracting women. 

Dressing to succeed with women is not about wearing the latest styles. It’s about using a woman’s natural instincts to your advantage. Women will make lots of assumptions about you from how you dress (some are pretty surprising!) and if you know the code, you can dress in a way that the assumptions she makes will lead you straight to her heart (or her bedroom).

You Can’t Avoid the Game

Lots of guys say they don’t care much about fashion and want to be with a woman who isn’t superficial and who won’t care either. I have some friends like this. None of them are exactly killing it in their dating life.  

The problem is that a woman doesn’t have to get to know every guy who crosses her path. She has to make assumptions about whether you’re worth investing in, and a lot of those assumptions come from first impressions.

Few women expect you to look like you just walked out of a fashion magazine (and that’s not necessarily the right look anyway — see below). But they do expect you to have your look together. If you don’t, the assumption won’t be, “Oh, he’s so cool and deep and has so much going on in his life that he’s above all this fashion stuff.” It’ll be more like, “He doesn’t have his look together; he probably doesn’t have his life together either.”

Dress to Support Your Identity

Remember first impressions? The first time you meet a woman, she’s going to think of you (and describe you to her friends) as “the ________ guy”. It might be your career (the doctor guy, the English student guy, the bartender guy), or it might be a hobby or passion (the yoga guy, the surfer guy, the salsa guy), but it’s definitely going to be something.

Your identity will depend on what you talk about, how you act, who you’re with — and how you dress. Dress to support your identity.

Yes, I know you have multiple sides to your personality, and you can be the party guy and the corporate guy and the world traveler guy, and so on, but the first time you meet her, keep things simple. You want her attracted, not confused. When a woman is confused or tries to figure out how a guy’s story all fits together, she’s likely to think she’s being played and move on to the next guy. Remember, she doesn’t have time to invest in every man out there.

So if your identity is “hotshot lawyer” (or future lawyer, if you’re a law student), I don’t care how good you think you look in that muscle t-shirt, don’t wear it to meet women. Dress how she’d expect a hotshot lawyer to dress. But if you’re a surfer guy who wants to date women who like surfer guys, then go ahead and wear a surfer t-shirt. 

One identity that is never good is “generic corporate drone.” Khakis and a tucked-in dress shirt are their standard uniform; never wear that out to meet women. Save business casual for Fridays in the office.

Final note — go shopping with a guy who gets it. Don’t let your female friends dress you. Women often don’t know what attracts other women; they will try to dress you like a Ken doll or something else “cute.” But do get your female friends to help with sizes and fit. If you like a shirt, pants or jacket but it doesn’t fit quite right, most tailors can make it look great on you for just a couple bucks. Most pickup artists do this as a matter of course.

Dress to Be Approached

Most of the time, you’re going to have to make the first move. But sometimes a woman will approach you — if you give her the opportunity.

Wear something to give her this opportunity: an unusual piece of jewelry, shoes, or shirt. If a woman could compliment you on it or ask where you got it without appearing to be blatantly hitting on you, then you’ve done it right. 

Some men take this idea way too far and dress head-to-toe in bizarre nonsense. Don’t do this — those guys get a lot of attention, but so does a clown troupe. Attention isn’t attraction.

Nick Savoy is a professional dating coach and pickup artist with Love Systems.  Follow Love Systems on Facebook for free dating advice and pickup tips.

read more: Sex and Dating, relationships, the pick up, dating advice

2 comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    "Some men take this idea way too far and dress head-to-toe in bizarre nonsense. Don’t do this — those guys get a lot of attention, but so does a clown troupe. Attention isn’t attraction." Amen, brother.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    you did not suggest anything
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