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  • April 01, 2014 : 14:04
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There’s more to keeping the engine running than our keen interest in the lives of beautiful women. Behind every article and gallery, every ad unit and image design, are cold facts and hard stats. In an effort to get a real-time feel for what the patrons of our site were looking for at any given moment, we uncovered something completely unexpected. Instead of unearthing trends in the making, we discovered that our audience search terms are wilder than anything we anticipated. Some of the queries are so bizarre, in fact, that we had to share them with you, as well as the mystifying photos those search terms yield, some of which we had forgotten existed. Until now.

In celebration of the start of an all new season of Inside Amy Schumer, which airs Tuesdays at 10:30/9:30c on Comedy Central, we offer you a peek inside your own dirty minds. Click the search terms for a better idea of what that looks like. Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.

We wanted to gauge how we could cater to your unconscious during certain cultural, en masse experiences. What articles do men read while being inundated elsewhere with news of the latest Rob Ford drug-addled blunder? Which celebrity pictorials do Playboy buffs flock to revisit when they’re tired of Miley’s cartoonish public nudity debacles?

In reality, we’ve learned that every search term you’ve tentatively typed on is a glimpse into the treasure box of fantasies that is your brain. How could we not let that inform our work a little? You know what they say about staring into the abyss? We’ll confirm it: we’re looking back at you.

We particularly enjoyed “unshaved.”

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