Our Playmate shows off all the places she'd take the Stanley Cup.
Subscribe to Play-by-Playmate
Growing up in Florida, we did not have a hockey team until I was in high school. It wasn’t prevalent in South Florida. But when I started going to Panthers games in person, I was hooked once I saw them drop the gloves. That’s when I was sold on hockey. I love the aggressiveness of hockey. I love a manly man. I definitely feel like of all pro athletes, hockey players would be my go-to if someone was to defend my honor.
I know that if I was to play the sport I would be a defenseman. There is no doubt in my mind. If it comes to fight or flight I would definitely fight. I would rather just go ahead and face it and get it over with. Usually I am more of the aggressor in situations like that. Being a defenseman—that might be one of the best jobs in the whole world. The fact that you can do what would normally put you in jail, but instead you can go sit in a box for five minutes—I would take that punishment.
As far as the Stanley Cup Finals go, I was excited to see it go to seven games. I think it’s great to see it go all the way, and congratulations to the Boston Bruins. I can’t even imagine that feeling of winning the Cup. I think it would be better for Boston fans if it would have happened at home. And I feel kind of sad for Vancouver. Not only did they lose but they ruined their own city with those riots. I just don’t get that mindset.
I do find it awesome that each player gets to spend time with the Stanley Cup for a few days during summer. God knows where that Cup ends up. But that must be an amazing moment. So if I were a boy, and I were a defenseman on the Bruins, here’s what I would do with the Cup:
- Give it a good scrubbing
One of the first things I’d do is give it a bath. I mean, it’s been around since 1893. I’m not naïve and I know boys can be dirty. I’d get that boys’ filth off of Stanley. I can only imagine where and what some of these guys over the years have done with the Cup. So the first thing I would do is make him pretty and shiny.
- Take it to a ballgame
I happened to be on the road this week so I thought it would be fun to take Stanley with me to a Texas Rangers game, where I enjoyed a turkey leg and a Coke inside of a cowboy boot. I’d just want to do things with him that are silly and ridiculous. I think it’s funny to take the Cup that the Bruins won to a random sporting event that’s not even in Boston and have him enjoy a baseball game with me. And I would not share my turkey leg.
- Sleep with it
I don’t know if we’d call it a threesome or slumber party, but I feel like it’d be every guy’s dream to have a threesome in general. So this would be Stanley’s lucky night, to have a slumber party with a couple of Playmates.
- Bring it on the red carpet
Well, Stanley’s a star. I would definitely have him walk the red carpet with me. Basically, he’d be my red carpet date. He’d try to steal my thunder.
- Eat Boo Berry cereal out of it
It was my favorite cereal as as child. And you can’t get it in stores; you actually have to order it online. Whenever I’m on the road I always check stores just to see if they have it. A guy I used to date sent me a year’s supply of Boo Berry cereal. That was one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten from a guy. It shows that he knew me. But that’s an aside. I would eat Boo Berry cereal out of it, in my pajamas in the Bunny House.
- Show it off at the Mansion!
I would show Stanley off at the Mansion. Stanley would actually give Hef a run for his money for attention, especially when he’s all shiny and clean. Every guy that I’ve ever talked to first asks me, “How is Hef? What’s he like?” It’s on their bucket list to one day attend a party at the Mansion or meet Hugh Hefner, but I feel like Stanley would be more starstruck than Hef upon meeting.
Home Run Derby: Me vs. COED Magazine
Okay, so if you paid any attention to the inaugural week of Home Run Derby, you might have noticed that Jimmy Traina and I were tied heading into the final day of competition, which is when his sluggers opened a can of whoop ass on me at the worst possible time. So this week, I’m hoping to bounce back for my first win.
The challenger: COED Magazine, who drafted Prince Fielder, Adrian Gonzalez and Paul Konerko. My picks: Evan Longoria, Mark Teixeira and Jose Bautista. Whoever gets the most home runs total between Monday and Sunday wins. And I’ve upped the ante this week: If I lose (again), I’ll owe them a photo or two in Cam Newton’s game-worn BCS championship game pants. Sounds sexy, right?
Follow me on Twitter at @jaimeedmondson and follow COED Magazine at @COEDMagazine. And feel free to leave any comments or suggestions about my blog in the comments section.