Playboy.com's Death March to Fitness Glory: The 30 Day Check-In

By Playboy.com Staff

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We pass the 30 day benchmark on our journey to fitness glory!


It’s been more than a month now since we began this Death March of unfortunate fitness doom, and among the five of us here at Playboy.com, spirits are down, motivation is low and even the prospect of minor fortune isn’t enough for us to enthusiastically dive bomb our abs into rock-hard six packs. As we continue our P90X Challenge, the initial weight loss of the first few weeks has waned to a steady pound or two per week, depending on whether or not the editors have been indulging in KFC-inspired delicacies, cheese, hot dogs or alcohol.

The next couple weeks will be the critical juncture for most of us to decide whether we are ready to admit defeat or are just getting our second wind. Stay tuned!

Benefits: I recently moved into a new place which required the heavy lifting of couches, tables and heavy-ass boxes of books. Let’s say after a month of hardcore P90X training, what could have been a torturous task turned out to be a walk in the park...ish.

Failures: The aforementioned story took place two weeks ago…my adherence to the program has been limited to less than a handful of times since.

Diet: I ate a P90X pizza last night…that is, whole wheat, thin crust, pesto, chicken, tomatoes and feta. Hey! They’re all on the approved list so back off, people! [Editor’s note: Eating an entire large pizza is not on the approved list, Michael.]

Results: Mediocre weight loss and definition for this report. But since I’ve also been running, sprinting and otherwise finding cardiovascular ways to avoid plyometrics, I think I’m ready to hit back next week. You know, now that Fraser has admitted defeat.

(Below: Compare these guns to when I first started here.)

Benefits: Few to none. The last two weeks I’ve missed nearly every workout. On a positive note, I now know what litchi sangria and guilt feels like. I always wondered what those Catholics were talking about (about the guilt; probably not the sangria).  

Failures: See above. But I resolve to ab rip, wacky jack, squat run and steam engine my ass off this week. 

Diet: If foie gras Double Downs count, then fabulously.

Results: Does anyone know if litchi sangria and foie gras complement one another? 

Click below to see where the rest of the editors are at!

Benefits: P90X, the great name in fitness presents: Fraser. Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! (Look! In the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Fraser!) Yes, it’s Fraser…who comes from Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men! Fraser…who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands, and who, disguised as a mild-mannered writer for a great metropolitan magazine, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the American way!

Failures: Aside from the four I see lazing around the office, all limp-armed and rolling about in the filth of their own failed diets, none.

Diet: I haven’t ingested this much nondescript powder since my days touring with the Stones.

Results: I am a hulking mass of human design, the absolute peak of physical fitness. A shining example for tiny humans who cower before me and tremble as I walk.

Benefits: I’ve started to mute the workouts and listen to NPR so not only am I exercising my body, I’m also turning more annoying to my coworkers.

Failures: I don’t really know what to say. I’ve kept the weight off that I originally lost, but at this point I need to get back in the game and take this seriously again. Life gets in the way, as it always does, but it shouldn’t be an excuse to stop being healthy.

Diet: I tried this great wood-burning oven pizza place last night. Great calamari and martinis...

Results: If you follow the plan, it works; if you don’t, it won’t work.

Benefits: Sticking to the diet has become the easiest part of this. I had a beer on the weekend but haven’t had real bread in weeks (wraps don’t count). Last night at dinner, I made my friend throw his roll out halfway through eating it. I may be losing my edge, but I’m still losing weight, albeit incrementally.

Failures: This whole working out thing needs to be a routine I follow daily in order for it to be successful; same time, same place, every day. A somewhat chaotic home life (boxes, boxes, so many boxes!) has made it near impossible to maintain the routine I crave, so my ability to justify skipping workouts has strengthened tenfold. The guilt, however, is becoming unmanageable.

Diet: I’m sold on salads. They make me feel great, mostly in the conscience. But seriously, don’t eat bread around me.

Results: Noticeable changes have slowed, and I haven’t felt the tug of a newly developed muscle group in a while. But I feel something extreme bubbling up in me. Could be all the greens.


The System

P90X is a total body system incorporating high-intensity circuit weight training, cardio and plyometrics in a fast-paced fitness program that is based on the concept of muscle confusion. By regularly changing the targeted muscle groups, P90X forces your body to adapt to the various workouts and to not become “comfortable” with any one exercise. By doing this, your body will build and tone muscle faster and learn to recover quicker – as it will learn to anticipate that your day-to-day movements are unpredictable.

Want to compete with us? Pick up a P90X system yourself HERE.


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