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Sex Sells: Shaving
  • July 28, 2013 : 23:07
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Many apoplectic things have been written about the branding of razors: that the whole 10-blades-are-better-than-one movement is simply a ploy, a scheme to keep Schick executives in Lambos and shiny new suits. Those bastards! What exactly are the fifth, sixth and seventh blades doing? And for that matter, the third and fourth? Is there something about facial hair that differs from other hair? Is it so enduring that it requires the might of 13 blades to remove? And if the best shave supposedly comes from a straight razor, a single blade, why are you trying to sell me 17?

These are questions perhaps best left unanswered for now, for fear that Big Razor will catch wind of our naysaying and we’ll be forced to disappear completely in the dead of night. We are, after all, not here to debate the science of shaving; we are here to point out gratuitous sex in advertising.

Which shaving companies have, for the most part, done well. Schick in particular stands out by managing to shoehorn sexy girls on treadmills into their advertising for absolutely no reason at all.

But its Gillette’s recent assembling of an all-star cast (Kate Upton, Hannah Simone and Genesis Rodriguez) that has really forced our hand here today and made us talk about razors. We’ll basically buy however many blades we’re told and use them to carve all sorts of crazy patterns into our hides if Hannah Simone tells us to. If Genesis Rodriguez says she wants me as bare as the day I was born, so fucking be it. More blades, more babes...

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