Playmate Shera Bechard shares her rules for how to make friends with benefits work for you.
Friends with Benefits, starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, hits theaters on July 22. In it, the two best friends bring sex into their friendship—and complications soon arise.
So we went to Hef’s new girlfriend, Miss November 2010 Shera Bechard, to see if she has any advice to impart on those men and women who can’t fight the urge to have sex with friends. Turns out she does. So read, re-read and jot down notes.
I’m not going to number these rules, because I think they’re all equally important. If one rule is missing, a FWB isn’t gonna happen—at least not with me.
We actually have to be friends first. Now I don’t mean life-long friends, or best friends, but you have to be the kind of person I actually would want to hang out with. So that said, personality is everything. A guy can be a supermodel with the hottest body, but if his personality sucks, no way on earth he’s gonna be a FWB.
We gotta be friends without benefits too. Now I don’t mean half the time, but if I want to relax with you and watch a movie, or go for burger and beer once in a blue moon without having sex, you should want to. It can’t be about sex 100% of the time. 95% of the time? That’s fine.
Don’t ever be desperate or needy. If you call after coming home from partying, horny as hell, expecting me to come over at the drop of a hat, you can expect me to hang up on you. However, if I call you after coming home from partying, horny as hell, expecting you to come over at the drop of a hat, you better get your ass over and get busy!
Don’t ever try to make me jealous. I’ve met far too many guys who feel the need to try to make me jealous to either gauge my feelings for them, or to try to take the upper-hand. In a FWB situation, no one should have the upper hand. Well, no one except me.
No feelings. No feelings. No feelings. There can be absolutely no emotions involved in a FWB relationship. The only feelings should be in the groin area. As soon as it spreads upwards from there, it’s o-v-e-r.
Don’t have a FWB relationship with another one of my friends. While there’s no need for exclusivity in a FWB relationship, having the same kind of relationship with one of my friends is a no-no. Unless I ask her to join us, then it’s a yes-yes.
Last and final rule: Remember at all times that women make the rules for FWB relationships. Sorry, that’s just the way it is—it’s a universal law. And if you don’t like the rules, that’s okay, you know where the door is. I’m sure us ladies will be able to find someone who likes the rules and will happily play by them.