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The 38 Best Songs About Sex
  • March 25, 2013 : 16:03
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As the film Reservoir Dogs begins, Mr. Brown (Quentin Tarantino) announces, “Let me tell you what ‘Like a Virgin’ is about.” The song’s narrator, he says, is a hussy whose man has an enormous rod, and when the two of them copulate, “it hurts just like it did the first time. Hence, ‘Like a Virgin.’?” Madonna later gave ­Tarantino a signed CD, on which she had written, “To Quentin—It’s about love, not dick.”

Lots of musicians have sung about venereal disease, even in the operetta Candide, which includes two songs on the topic. In this oddly cheerful ditty, the British group describes an unlucky tourist who returns from London with the pox. The word leaking creates a disturbing image; the BBC banned the song.

Did you think the song was about poison ivy? Hint: It’s about a girl named Ivy. If you mess around with her, she’ll “make you itch.”

A rapper takes a girl home soon after meeting her, brags to his friends and three days later, while “drip drip dripping,” howls in pain. It’s both explicit and comic and ends with an endorsement of condoms.

Prince has recorded dozens of great songs about sex, and it pains us not to include “Head,” about staining the gown of a bride on her way to the altar. But we’ll praise this Purple Rain track about a girl sitting “in a hotel lobby, masturbating with a magazine,” because it outraged Tipper Gore and caused her to form the Parents Music Resource Center after she found her 11-year-old daughter listening to it.

The title? It stands for “Let Me Lick Your Pussy,” and some of the lyrics are borrowed from Prince songs. In concert, the twisted cult act Ween often ended shows with a 30-minute version of this funk jam. It was the band’s “Stairway to Heaven.”

How could a fantasy about statutory rape make it to number one? The great guitar riff bounces like a braless prom queen and obscures the panting pronouncement “I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind.” Bluesmen have long sung about lusting for schoolgirls, but “My Sharona” is the only paean to underage sex to make it onto President George W. Bush’s iPod.

In this ecstatic tale of heavy petting and discontent, John Lennon pleads with his girl for…maybe a blow job, maybe a hand job, but release of some kind. Comically, this is the song that lit the flame of Beatlemania and set girls screaming and eager to please a ­Beatle, or even all four of them. (By the way, “I Saw Her Standing There” is basically about pedophilia. The Beatles: perverts?)

A chirpy New Wave track about a club girl pining for a vain guy who won’t take her home because he’s busy posing in the mirror. Horny and impatient, Basil resorts to a promise that’s also a taunt: “Anyway you want to do it/I’ll take it like a man.” Mickey’s chief interest, apparently, is not women.

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read more: entertainment, sex, music, issue april 2013

2 comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I loved this article in magazine form, and I loved it online so we could watch the videos. I know, I know, you will get a million people who say this, but let me be the first: You missed a great song for this countdown.A song I listened to a million times when I was a kid, totally shocked by the album cover of a naked woman in a spoon, and the naughtiness of this tune.... "All This Making Love" about a sex crazed momma by The Bee Gees off the album "Main Course." How could lines like, "I can't keep still, gonna make a will 'cuz I'm losing all my hair" not rate high enough to be here? Or, "I get pleasure and pain, it's a gravy train, it's a wonderland, it's a ride?" I just submit it for thought.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    buckcherry should be on here!
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