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The 38 Best Songs About Sex
  • March 25, 2013 : 16:03
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Dancehall songs are way filthier than American hip-hop, if you understand the patois. Here, over a thrilling electronic beat, two Jamaican rappers bond over their massive egos: Spice brags about the tightness of her pussy, and Kartel counters, “Me cocky longer dan me Nike/Tell me wuh yuh like/Yuh waan me drive or yuh waan ride it like a bike?” Clever and oddly tender, it led Jamaica’s broadcasting commission to ban songs about sex.

The slow, sleazy R&B groove evokes Barry White, Hennessy and a water bed. But Biggie, the obese Brooklyn rapper, doesn’t have seduction on his mind. “I’m fuckin’ you tonight,” he announces plainly. This song would make a great play­list with Akon’s “I Wanna Fuck You,” Noreaga’s “I Wanna Fuck You,” N.W.A’s “I’d Rather Fuck You” and Beenie Man’s “I’m Gonna Fuck You.”

The narrator of this glorious R&B melodrama is an unhappy newlywed. On her wedding night she and her husband “stayed in separate rooms,” and she implores him to return “and love me like you tried before.” Tried? WTF? Maybe the bride had a case of vaginismus. (Look it up.) More likely the groom was incapable—Cialis didn’t exist in 1970.

There’s nothing subtle or mysterious about this one. It’s not about an ice cream truck.

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read more: entertainment, sex, music, issue april 2013

2 comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    buckcherry should be on here!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I loved this article in magazine form, and I loved it online so we could watch the videos. I know, I know, you will get a million people who say this, but let me be the first: You missed a great song for this countdown.A song I listened to a million times when I was a kid, totally shocked by the album cover of a naked woman in a spoon, and the naughtiness of this tune.... "All This Making Love" about a sex crazed momma by The Bee Gees off the album "Main Course." How could lines like, "I can't keep still, gonna make a will 'cuz I'm losing all my hair" not rate high enough to be here? Or, "I get pleasure and pain, it's a gravy train, it's a wonderland, it's a ride?" I just submit it for thought.
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