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The 38 Best Songs About Sex
  • March 25, 2013 : 16:03
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A taunting, unsympathetic sneer from this female-fronted British quartet: “Is it something you lack/When I’m flat on my back?” Elastica’s great first album added endorsements of lube (“Vaseline”) and sex in and on top of automobiles (“Car Song”).

Beer isn’t always your friend, guys.

Seduction is sleazy, and so is Rod Stewart. In this bubble-bath ballad, Stewart plies a sexual novice with booze, guilt, pressure and metaphor (“Spread your wings and let me come inside”). The gist is this: “Just let me put the tip in.”

In this filthy Depression-era blues song, Bogan alternately brags about her skills (“I would fuck you, baby, honey, I would make you cry”) and tells her lover he has crabs in his ass. “I got somethin’ between my legs’ll make a dead man come,” she boasts, which likely inspired Mick Jagger’s similar lyric in “Start Me Up.”

Bryan Ferry has had one of the most enviable sex lives of any musician, but in this haunted dirge he imagines an inflatable doll is “the perfect companion.” He yearns to serve her, brings her to his mansion, changes her clothes every day, pledges eternal love—but like Dr. Frankenstein’s monster, she betrays him. “I blew up your body/But you blew my mind,” he sobs, and the track explodes into psychedelic torment. Doll and man can never mate.

The single-minded Kelly recorded songs with the titles “Bump n’ Grind,” “Freak Dat Body” and “I Like the Crotch on You” all on the same album. (“Feelin’ on Yo Booty” came later.) His R&B romps often have a streak of outrageous comedy, and his tallest tale, “In the Kitchen,” isn’t about Guy Fieri. Risking a grease fire, R. freaks his girl near the stove, “on the counter/By the buttered rolls.” He even shouts, “Girl, I’m ready to toss your salad.” Every healthy diet needs some roughage.

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read more: entertainment, sex, music, issue april 2013

2 comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I loved this article in magazine form, and I loved it online so we could watch the videos. I know, I know, you will get a million people who say this, but let me be the first: You missed a great song for this countdown.A song I listened to a million times when I was a kid, totally shocked by the album cover of a naked woman in a spoon, and the naughtiness of this tune.... "All This Making Love" about a sex crazed momma by The Bee Gees off the album "Main Course." How could lines like, "I can't keep still, gonna make a will 'cuz I'm losing all my hair" not rate high enough to be here? Or, "I get pleasure and pain, it's a gravy train, it's a wonderland, it's a ride?" I just submit it for thought.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    buckcherry should be on here!
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