The Bachelor's Guide to Valentine's Day

By Vanessa Butler

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When you see this perfect bachelor's Valentine's Day, you may get mad you're taken.


You’re probably unaware of this, but the reason why your friends can’t make it out to Tuesday night poker next week is because it’s Valentine’s Day. Yes, that day that gets in the way of your winning streak is almost upon us. Instead of going through your entire day like you normally would, make this a day to celebrate your bachelor lifestyle. What you need to do is take a couple dollars out of your bank account and do the following:

Rent the most expensive car you can afford

Live the dream, for once in your life! Let this day be the day that you walk into a dealership (okay, car rental bureau) and have your pick of the litter. Higher end models start at around $300 and go well over $1000 for a day of rental. Fill up the tank and pick up your fellow bachelors to get in on the day that will leave you known as the most resented boys in town on Valentine’s Day.

Let Off Some Steam at the Firing Range

Once you’ve taken the car past the places where your committed friends are blowing cash on girls they hope to sleep with, call your local firing range to tell them to expect some company. Take this chance to arm yourself with the biggest, baddest artilleries in the joint. Fire when ready.

Cigars and Scotch

Once you’ve let off a few rounds at the shooting range, your body will be coursing with adrenaline. You’ll need something to fix that. You know that high end cigar bar your boss always talks about bringing clients to? You’re going there next. Once you arrive, have someone walk you through the humidor and pair a decently priced cigar with their most expensive glass of scotch.

Steakhouse

Wave goodbye to your rental and call a limousine to pick you and your crew up. It’s going to be a daunting task to get into a steakhouse on Valentine’s Day, but with a firm handshake and a few 20’s we’re positive the maître-d will find a table that just opened up. Have the waitress uncork the wine and dig in.

Strip Club

Once you’re full of steak, potatoes and good wine, satisfy that one desire Valentine’s Day embeds into all males – the urge to see women in lingerie. Storming a local joint with a lively crew will not only be an epic way to end a great day, but also boosts the morale of the other guys in the bar.


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