If you spent June loafing on a couch, don’t let the next two months go to waste. From concerts and pool parties to art exhibits and swank hotels, this list will save your summer.
1. MLB All-Star Game at Citi Field - July 16
The holy trinity of summer is baseball, beer and burgers. Nirvana is worshipping all three at once when you begin your journey at the All-Star game at Citi Field. Grab a legendary Shake Shack burger and watch Prince Fielder crush homers into the New York streets.
2. Madero Guate Vans
3. Pitchfork Festival - July 19–21
Make your way to Chicago to celebrate the lovely women (onstage and off) at the Pitchfork Music Festival ($50–$120, pitchforkmusicfestival.com). This year’s lineup includes bad girl M.I.A., vampy model and songstress Sky Ferreira, Solange—the other, funkier Knowles sister—and your not-so-secret crush Björk. If Belle and Sebastian kill your buzz, watch Killer Mike and R. Kelly instead. Or just grab a beach towel, plant yourself in the middle of the three stages and work on your tan and your impending hearing loss.
4. Montelobos Mezcal
Skip the margarita mix and drink like a man. Order a bottle of smoky Montelobos mezcal ($50) and sip it neat while discussing your philosophical concerns about the RoboCop remake.
5. Andre Berto Vs. Jesus Soto Karass - July 25
Catch one of summer’s best brawls by heading to Carson, California for Andre Berto vs. Jesús Soto Karass. The welterweight slugfest promises to be the year’s most action-packed—unless Floyd Mayweather Jr. finally agrees to fight Manny Pacquiao.
6. Las Vegas Pool Parties
Las Vegas pool parties are debauched even by Sin City standards. Don your swimsuit and dive in. Rehab at the Hard Rock Hotel is the granddaddy of 30-ounce vodka lemonades and underwater hand jobs, Encore at the Wynn nabs the biggest DJs (Diplo, David Guetta), and the Boulevard Pool at the Cosmopolitan features the best live acts, including Twin Shadow (July 4) and Weezer (July 27).
7. Metallica Pinball Machine
Take a break and blow a night at the bar, playing Metallica…pinball. The latest model for locations) includes an animated electric chair, a ball-eating snake and illuminated grave markers. Ride the lightning, indeed.
8. Lollapalooza - August 2–4
Return to Chicago for a second helping of killer music, overpriced bottled water and quality MDMA, at Lollapalooza ($75–$235). Impress the ladies with your knowledge of Cat Power and Lana Del Rey after Nine Inch Nails and Queens of the Stone Age blow what’s left of your brains.
9. Trillium Graphic Novel
Book a direct flight from Chicago to London. Detox on the plane while reading Trillium, the new science-fiction series about the end of the universe from Vertigo Comics (V for Vendetta, The Sandman) and acclaimed creator Jeff Lemire (Sweet Tooth).
10. London Shard Hotel
You’re pumped on sci-fi, so stay at London’s new Shangri-La Hotel at the Shard. The 1,016-foot skyscraper (the tallest in the E.U.) pierces the clouds like something out of Star Trek. Room prices are TBA, but the bar on the 52nd floor provides a holodeck-worthy view.
11. Bowie Exhibit at V&A London - until August 11
Catch the David Bowie exhibit at the Victoria and Albert Museum before it closes. The show includes more than 300 objects from the Thin White Duke, including original costumes, instruments, handwritten lyrics and set designs.
12. Electric Zoo New York - August 30–September 1
End your adventure back in New York at the Electric Zoo music festival ($330–$1,200). Sweat it out to turntable superstars Tiësto and Steve Aoki. Then, hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. This summer has depleted you.