The Playboy Advisor: Is This Cheating?

Q. Here's a situation described to me by a friend, and we'd like your opinion. A married man whose wife is out of town visits a bar with friends. He strikes up a conversation with an attractive woman. She too is married and her husband is away. They decide to have a nightcap at her place. Although the conversation is somewhat sexual, there is no physical contact. As the evening is winding down, the woman tells the man that she plans to masturbate after he leaves, and that she assumes he will do the same when he arrives home. She suggests they masturbate together. They disrobe and masturbate within sight of each other, but they never touch beyond a chaste kiss as he gathers his clothes to leave. Is this considered cheating?

-- E.A., The Woodlands, Texas

A. You bet. The couple shared sexual intimacy, and that meets the definition of adultery even if the participants can't see each other, such as during phone sex or while online. If the guy had returned home to masturbate, he might have escaped on a technicality. But his judgment would still be suspect -- married guys generally don't have nightcaps with women they meet in bars.