The Daily Lick: The Albino Anaconda Agreement

By Ron Shirley

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With a topic like this, we can bid you nothing more than fair warning: expect the unexpected. Even so, never fear, Ron Shirley is here.


Ron Shirley (of Lizard Lick Towing fame) joins us for seven days of The Daily Lick, wherein he answers the varied questions sent to us by Playboy.com readers. Prepare to hear about anything and everything from spicing up your sex life to what to do when faced with an albino anaconda. Check back here daily to get the advice you need, bo'!

The people that I work with are absolutely crazy. You deal with crazy people every day; what has been your craziest experience on the job and how did you handle it?—Peter, Pierre, South Dakota

I slid up under a Mazda Miata one time and hooked the chains to it, but when I slid out, I was looking smack dab at an albino anaconda. And that man wasn’t holdin’ no snake, know what I mean? I looked up at that man standing buck naked above me and said, “I will make you one promise. If you get that snake away from me, I will unhook your car and leave these premises and never come back.” When you’re dealing with crazy people, bo', sometimes you just gotta give in. Because there’s a whole lotta difference between kickin’ a dog and steppin’ on him…and even a dog knows the difference.

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