The Daily Lick: The Crazy Ex Retreat

By Ron Shirley

You know the pain incurred by a woman scorned, and if you don't we pray you never do. Lizard Lick Towing's Ron Shirley is here to help you avoid feeling it ever again.

Ron Shirley (of Lizard Lick Towing fame) joins us for seven days of The Daily Lick, wherein he answers the varied questions sent to us by readers. Prepare to hear about anything and everything from spicing up your sex life to what to do when faced with an albino anaconda. Check back here daily to get the advice you need, bo’!

You’re used to going after other people’s cars, but what do I do about someone coming for mine? My ex won’t leave me alone, and yesterday she threatened to mess up my car with a baseball bat. I think I even heard her say something about cutting my brake lines. Help!—Norman, Bates, Michigan

If a repo man is comin’ after your car, my suggestion is you’d rather be a blind man in a silent movie than not give it to him. If he’s worth his salt, you can be sure he’s gonna embarrass you when he finds the vehicle—just for makin’ him chase you around. But if you’ve got a crazy woman after your car, the best thing you can do is put your tail between your legs and hide your car where she can’t find it. Because that old saying that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”? Hell doesn’t come close to giving you the complete picture, brother.

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