Ron Shirley (of Lizard Lick Towing fame) joins us for seven days of The Daily Lick, wherein he answers the varied questions sent to us by Playboy.com readers. Prepare to hear about anything and everything from spicing up your sex life to what to do when faced with an albino anaconda. Check back here daily to get the advice you need, bo'!
I've been in a committed relationship for years, but I'm bored. Recently, I've been having feelings for my girlfriend's sister and I know the feelings are mutual. I know this is wrong but I can't deny my feelings any longer! How can I make a clean break?—Gary, Boise, Idaho
Bo', you'd have to be nuttier than a Port-A-Potty at a peanut festival to mess with your old lady's sister. There's one thing I know in this world and that's to never corner nothin' meaner than you. I don't care how tough you are—if you leave your lady for her sister, you're gonna end up with more than a skinned-up head and a burnt-up tail. Personally, I think you'd rather stick a wet noodle up a wildcat's tail with a hot poker than to leave her. Maybe you could suggest that she does her hair like her sister's. See, the grass may look greener on the other side, but once you climb that fence, you'll find there are just as many cow patties.