With HBO’s Game of Thrones returning this Sunday for a third season of fantastic violence and gratuitous nudity, we thought this an excellent time to review some of the sexiest women who have graced the premium network’s prime-time lineup (and probably been featured themselves in at least one scene with fantastic violence and gratuitous nudity, possibly the same scene; HBO pulls no punches.)
Considering this has been dubbed by pundits to be a renaissance, a renewed Golden Age of TV, and that HBO appears to be leading the way, we had no problem rooting through their various offerings to find its sexiest stars. Some will be obvious (Emilia Clarke made the list), some will bring back memories (a miss Melissa George perhaps) and others will be obscure, diamonds in the rough you may have even missed (*cough* Kristen Bell *cough*). But all will be superhot.
There are, of course, some notable HBO offerings omitted: Oz, for instance, takes place in a men’s prison, and while there is plenty of sex we’re guessing it’s not the kind you came to see. David Simon’s The Wire is also absent, its creator priding himself on a sense of realism and Baltimore not being a place of particular beauty (though Brandy Burre has her moments in McNulty’s hotel room…also “Madam President is hot as balls.”)
But enough preamble: you came here to see
HBO’s beauties and so you shall. From the top and in no particular order:
Olivia Munn – The Newsroom
If there is a sexier Princess Leia out there, we don’t want to know. Everybody and their dog has ogled Olivia Munn’s take on the classic male fantasy, so we were happy to discover that her role as Sloan Sabbith on The Newsroom will be reprised. The more Olivia Munn, the merrier.
Emilia Clarke – Game of Thrones
In our first encounter with Daenerys of House Targaryen, she is in the buff and that’s amazing. It basically seals the deal on the show for most fans right out of the gate. And though there are some weird incestuous overtones in the scene, we can’t help but stare. What can we say; we have a problem.
Shannyn Sossamon – How to Make It in America
Let’s get something straight: Shannyn Sossamon is a sexpot. She is routinely cast in disturbingly sexy roles which drive us, men, crazy, because we love crazy. The more crazy you are, the more crazy we are about you. It’s a vicious cycle. As an aside (or maybe not), Sossamon has a child named Audio Science.
Paz de la Huerta – Boardwalk Empire
On top of being pregnant (or maybe because of it), Paz de la Huerta’s character becomes an unbearable burden for not only the characters on season two of Boardwalk Empire but for the viewer as well. Her scenes are almost unwatchable when she’s not being all naked and sexy. Thankfully she inexplicably disappears from the show in season three, which is good. But not quite as good as her rompy, wild sex-goddess stuff of season one.
ABC / Getty Images
Janina Gavankar – True Blood
Honestly, we could have just closed our eyes, pointed blindly and found a gorgeous girl to pull from this show. It is just short of softcore porn, and while we haven’t jumped, lock, stock and barrel, onto the whole vampire/werewolf bandwagon, we’d gladly let Janina Gavankar suck on our neck (we know, on the show she’s a shapeshifter, but saying we’d let her shift our shape would have been crossing the line, which, upon immediate reflection, we just crossed).
Kristen Bell – Deadwood
There is an abundance of nudity in Deadwood (including, but not limited to, Nick Offerman’s penis), and while Kristen Bell doesn’t take it all off, she’s still the hottest thing to ever stroll through settler-times South Dakota. Plus she gets damn close to a lesbian scene with one of the show’s other sexy stars. It’s worth the watch.
Melissa George – In Treatment
From the moment Melissa George steps on-screen in In Treatment, the audience is 100 percent sure that she is going to become sexually fixated on Gabriel Byrne. We can, of course, forgive the overly obvious character arc as it gives way to countless scenes in which the stunning Melissa George gets to play sexy.
Emily Wickersham - The Sopranos
[SPOILER ALERT] Once Adriana goes the way of the dodo, and with her the plot twist involving Lola Glaudini, and Julianna Margulies’ character is left as one of the show’s only unanswered loose ends (ending aside), The Sopranos is essentially left with a bunch of haggard-looking mob wives and the occasional seedy-looking stripper. Save Emily Wickersham, whose appearance in the final three episodes acts as the lone bright spot in an otherwise dark few days in New Jersey.
Amanda Seyfried – Big Love
We’ve covered incest (Game of Thrones), sex addiction/fixation (In Treatment) and batshit crazy (pretty much all of the above), so what’s left? Ah yes, polygamy. Big Love is a show about polygamy, and if you haven’t watched it, you should. Maybe solely for Amanda Seyfried, who before she was misérable was a Mormon (terrible joke).