The Million Dollar July 4th Party


July 4th may not land on the weekend this year, but it doesn’t mean that you have to put your party plans on hold. Here's what you need to throw the most epic party for you and your friends.

July 4th may not land on the weekend this year, but that doesn’t mean you have to put your party plans on hold. We’ve provided you with the steps you need to take to throw the biggest and best July 4th party you and your friends will ever go to.

The Setting

Prove how patriotic you are by renting out the biggest cottage you can find to host your outlandish July 4th party. Indoor sauna and hot tub may be optional, but scoring a place by the water is a must if you want to set up a firework show at dusk. The best way to rent a pimped out cottage is a site like that has places that go from anywhere between $3-17 thousand a night. May we suggest finding a place with a hot tub en suite for a late-night skinny dip with a couple of your girlfriends?

The Food

There are two ways to go about the food situation. One is to rely on a chef to prepare the meals, or you can man up and cook the food yourself. If we were in your position, we’d splurge on a Weber Summit Grill Center ($3899) and call in the professionals at Southside Market in Texas to send over a spread of their best racks, briskets, chickens and steaks to feed your hungry guests. For $160 you can get their Legend package, which includes enough food to feed about 30 adults, shipped over in dry ice for you to prepare on the grill.

The Drinks

If you can’t find any cocktail Bunnies to serve you and your friends perfectly mixed drinks all night, you’re going to have to come up with another plan. If you’re up for splurging on a toy you can bring home after the party, picking up an Alpina Mobile Beer and Grill Bar would be in your best interest. Designed with a professional beer tap and with all of the bells and whistles you need for grilling up a juicy steak and enjoying an ice-cold beer, the fact that PMOY Jaclyn Swedberg didn’t return your invite won’t seem so awful after all.

The Entertainment

Everyone and their grandmother will be watching a firework show on July 4th, so you really need to outdo everyone else’s show. It’s not that you should omit fireworks from your party, but we’re thinking you should do something extravagant, like hiring a couple of fire eaters or acrobats for a few hours as a precursor to the main firework event. You can hire a whole lot of different kinds of entertainers on (just no clowns, okay?) and build the perfect firework show at If you’re feeling lazy, Fireworks Supermarket has prepackaged deals like the “Fanfare,” which has 551 shots for only 1000 bucks.

Party Favors

This one is a bit of a stretch, but we think if anyone could pull it off, it would be one of you. People like dressing up to show their pride in being American, so why not provide your female friends with patriotic American flag bikinis upon arrival? Going for about $30 each, these party favors will have your friends thanking you for your innovative idea that will not only be a hit at the party, but will also find its way to very popular Facebook photo albums.

The Music

Everyone wants to be the DJ at the party; why not make it so? Ask everyone to download the iTunes DJ remote app onto their phones (instructions here) which lets your partygoers request which song will play next from their iTunes. The place you rent will no doubt have its own tricked-out sound system for the interior, but to bring the music outside you’ll need a Bose SoundLink Wireless Mobile Speaker ($300), which is said to be the best wireless speaker on the market.


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