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I'M A DATING COACH WITH LOVE SYSTEMS. That means my job is to show men how to meet and attract beautiful women—even women “out of their league.” It also means that I’ve met a lot of women and seen a lot of relationships start and fail. Here’s my Top 10 list of the worst women to date or try to date:
- THE HELPLESS PRINCESS
This woman is incapable of handling any situation herself. She doesn’t even want help, she just wants to hand off her problems to you to solve. This woman has never heard of Google or GPS. Why does she need that—aren’t you going to drive out of your way to pick her up?
SALVAGEABLE? Not this one. Her helpless princess routine is only a symptom; the root cause is that she’s selfish, needy, manipulative, entitled and lazy. Yeah, stay away.
- THE DETECTIVE
She will go through your computer or your phone. She will interrogate you about where you’ve been and who you were with. She’ll drive wedges between you and your friends, especially your female friends. And so on.
SALVAGEABLE? Possibly. Her ex-boyfriends might have let her get away with this sort of behavior, so she might not know any better. But if her jealousy is a symptom of being generally insecure and entitled, then she will never really change.
3. THE CHEATER
One of the first things that made Love Systems famous was the “Will She Cheat on You?” model (from my Relationship Management DVD Course). One tidbit: the best way to predict whether a woman is going to cheat is whether she’s cheated before. This probably sounds obvious, but most men don’t pay attention. Most guys are concerned with where their girlfriend is and who she is with, which can actually be counterproductive and drive a woman to cheat.
SALVAGEABLE? Depends. If she has a history of cheating, then no. If it was a one-time thing when a relationship was ending anyway, then maybe. Get this information early, before she falls for you and starts slanting her answers to what she thinks you want to hear.
- THE THERAPY PATIENT
She phones you when she’s lonely or needs to feel better about herself. She gives you lots of compliments and says you’d be an amazing boyfriend. If she’s attached, she might even say she wishes her boyfriend were more like you. But if you make a move, she’ll tell you she doesn’t see you that way and she doesn’t want to risk ruining the friendship.
SALVAGEABLE? Possibly, but you’re going to have to switch up the dynamics. Next time she tries to put you in therapist mode, be supportive and relate to her emotions, but don’t get into details or solve her problem. Tell her that you have confidence in her. Then change the subject.
- THE WOMAN WITHOUT FEMALE FRIENDS
Most guys don’t know this one, but you should. If other women don’t see anything valuable in her, it probably means that she’s trading on her sexuality to make “friends” (really, just other men who want to get with her).
These women always have excuses—they don’t get along with women (half the planet? Sure), other women are threatened by her (how do supermodels make friends then?) and so on.
SALVAGEABLE? Nope. This is symptomatic of much bigger problems. Run.
- THE GOLD-DIGGER
Disclaimer first: it’s really not any more superficial or mercenary for a woman to be interested in the size of your wallet than it is for you to be interested in the size of her chest. A lot of women get accused of being gold-diggers when they’re really just screening for a man with ambition and the ability to take care of himself. But when that’s the only thing a woman is interested in, then she’s genuinely a gold-digger.
SALVAGEABLE? Yes. If you’re not rich and she sticks around, obviously she likes you enough to change her MO. If you are rich, don’t take her to expensive places and see if she sticks around. It’s a great screening system.
7. THE ONLINE FRIEND
She’ll text you all day. She’ll tell you she misses hearing from you when you’re busy. She might even talk dirty on the regular. But every time you suggest meeting up, the conversation stalls.
SALVAGEABLE? Yes. The problem is that she’s not attracted enough to you. It’s hard to attract a woman when all you can do is text her (as opposed to seeing her in person) but it is fixable. Check out my video tutorial on texting here.
- THE NETWORKER
She’s only free where there’s some A-list event going on, or somewhere where she wants to see and be seen. You’re kind of a Ken doll to her Barbie, an accessory to make her look good. When she’s off talking to other people she loses interest.
SALVAGEABLE? Maybe. Decline her invitations and suggest other plans. She’ll either drop out of sight or play ball.
- LITTLE MS. NEGATIVE
Something is always going wrong that she has to tell you about. If she can’t find anything to complain about in her life, she’ll tell you about awful things that have happened to her friends.
SALVAGEABLE? If she’s depressed, help her get to a doctor, like you would with any other sick person. Otherwise, get the hell out of Dodge; no man can keep a good attitude through years of drip-drip-drip negativity.
- THE DRAMA QUEEN
This woman can’t exist without being the main character in her own little play. If the attention shifts away from her, even for a moment, she’ll find some way to get it back. She’s unpredictable and loves conflict.
SALVAGEABLE? No. Some women are just like this. Oddly, lots of guys don’t seem to be bothered by this. So let one of them be with her instead.
Nick Savoy is President of Love Systems and a frequent contributor to Playboy. Follow him on Twitter @LS_Savoy.