It’s not just a myth. There is often a trade-off between looks and personality with a woman—and the hotter she is, the more likely it is that parts of her personality will trouble you.
Sure, there are exceptions. But many attractive women have been treated differently their whole lives. Between alternately being adored, resented, objectified, singled out and judged—and often even rewarded by many men for princessy behavior in the past—it’s a wonder that any beautiful women keep their heads on straight. If you want to date beautiful women, remember that these bad habits may not all be her fault.
If you got a dozen invitations to do different fun and exciting things every day, you might become casual about plans, too. Sure, she might say that dinner and a movie with you on Friday night sounds fun (a terrible first date anyway), but when Friday rolls around there might be a concert, party, or other event—or maybe she’s got such a busy social life she just forgot!
Solution: Don’t get mad or treat flaking on plans like a big deal. You’ll just show her that you can’t handle her and that you don’t have much experience with beautiful women.
Instead of treating first dates like business meetings, leave things a bit casual. Text her sometime when you’re doing something fun and ask what she’s up to. If she does flake, be unaffected. Pretend that you were going to have to cancel too, or (if appropriate) say “No problem; I’ll take someone else.” Almost every time I’ve said this, the woman reconsidered. This just goes to show that often “I can’t make it” really means “there’s something else I want to do instead.”
As Love Systems instructor Chris Shepherd says, never treat someone as a priority who treats you as an option.
Women feel almost all emotions much stronger than men do, and cycle through them more quickly. This isn’t good or bad; I could just as easily say that men feel most emotions less strongly than women and cycle through them more slowly.
The difference here is that hot women can get away with being changeable and so usually have fewer boundaries for themselves. An average woman who is inconsistent from one day to the next might find that she loses friends, opportunities and potential relationships. But some hot women have learned that guys will hang around, people will wait for them and so on.
Solution: Set boundaries and don’t be affected. If you chase after her wondering what you did wrong every time she pulled back for a minute, then you’ll tell her—again—that she is out of your league. On the other hand, if something goes really wrong, address it.
In a previous Playboy.com article, I showed you how to predict if your girlfriend is going to cheat. Here we’re going to talk about flirting, not cheating.
Hot women are more likely to be flirtatious than less attractive women. They’ve had much more practice, they’re much better at it and their friends and activities probably put them in the path of men who want to meet them. When you’re out with a hot woman (or, especially, when you’re not), men will enjoy flirting with her and she’ll enjoy flirting with men.
Solution: Stay calm. Remember what I said earlier about women feeling most emotions much more strongly than men? Most. Men feel anger much more strongly, and nothing can enrage a man on an instinctive, primal level as much as jealousy.
On the plus side, as long as you’re being reasonable, boundaries around flirting are something a lot of hot women understand, because they’re used to being observed and judged constantly. Develop your social skills, too, so you’re not always the one chasing her down at parties or waiting for her to finish her conversations.
It’s hard to know what’s acceptable and what isn’t in the heat of the moment. Take a deep breath and ask some friends who you can trust to give you an honest look at the situation.
Nick Savoy is the founder of Love Systems and a regular contributor to Playboy.com. Check out his free 12-minute video tutorial on the basics of phone and text game here.