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The Pick Up: Confidence
  • April 26, 2012 : 14:04
  • comments

You probably already know that women love confidence in a man. While a lot of what “everybody knows” about women and attraction is actually wrong, confidence is one of the few places where conventional wisdom is right on target. Of the eight key “attraction switches” that we’ve proven at Love Systems give you the best odds of attracting beautiful women, confidence is probably the most important.

But if you’re not naturally confident around beautiful womenand few men arethen telling you to “be confident” probably won’t help. It’d be sort of like telling you that the secret to having money is to “be rich”.

What we do instead is reverse-engineer what confident men actually do. If you do these same things yourself, you’ll get the same results. In fact, you’ll probably have so much success with these techniques that you’ll develop genuine confidence around beautiful women. You’ll keep on doing the same things, but you probably won’t even have to think about them anymore.

Here are three of the easiest changes to make:

1. Slow. It. Down. Speaking a million words a minute tells her you’re nervous. Or that you’re not the kind of guy people normally pay attention to, so you have to get your thoughts out quickly. Speaking slowly lets her hang on your every word and shows that you are a relaxed and confident man.

Do the same thing with how you move. As one Love Systems expert (and winner of Keys to the VIP) Derek Cajun put it, “move like you’re under water”. Moving slower, with deliberate, strong body language creates a much more attractive and confident look. It also tells her that you are a high-value man who is perfectly confident that the most interesting place to be right now is right where he is.   If a movie star walks into a nightclub, do you picture him walking slowly and in command like this, or scurrying around?

2. Eye Contact. Make and hold eye contact. About 90% of the time when you are talking and about 60% of the time when she’s talking. I’ve had clients hook up with women who had rejected them earlier in the night just by making this one change.

3. Don’t Try Too Hard. Most men are all “pull” and no “push”. But women want a challenge, and confident men are almost always a challenge. Before you show her how much you like her, make her work for it a bit - people value what they have to work for.   Ask her what she’s got going for herself or what she does for fun, and don’t rush to compliment every answer. Even if you’re already sold, act like you’re still browsing.

E.g., don’t rush to get her phone number. Build attraction and she’ll offer it. Don’t worry about playing so hard-to-get that things fall through the cracks; if she is genuinely attracted, she is unlikely to leave without giving you a final chance to ask for her number.

Another great thing about projecting confidence is that you can practice this 24/7 and it helps in every area of life. Make especially the first two techniques part of your daily routine and they’ll be second-nature within a month. Then watch your friends’ amazement as beautiful women start responding to you like never before…

 About the Author

Nick Savoy is President of Love Systems (formerly Mystery Method) the largest dating coaching group for men and is the author of the bestselling Magic Bullets Handbook.

read more: Sex and Dating, sex, relationships, the pick up, dating advice

10 comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I don't mean to go against the chorus here since everyone seems to love these articles but doesn't anyone else find them a bit SHORT? Maybe it's because I've already heard of and studied Love Systems, but these articles are only scratching the surface of Love Systems concepts. Not that Love Systems is the be-all and end-all anyway, but they are pretty good, I'm just saying that this is kind of the Cliff's Notes at best...
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    That Keys to the VIP video is great. Would love to see more of them in action.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    will always be a scholar when it comes to this subject
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I love this column!! worth visiting the site for even if it didnt have the naked girls pics...
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Move like underwater...I love it. Still having to remind myself to do it
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    This guy knows what he's talking about
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    great little article. i remember cajun shit kicking his cousin in Keys to the VIP, was entertaining to watch. hope to see more of those types of shows on comedy network or VH1
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    These are really good. Short, insightful, and to the point, with useful advice.
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