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The Pick Up: Date Women Out of Your League
  • May 10, 2012 : 04:05
  • comments

If you treat a woman like you’re on her level, you’ve got a chance with her. But if you act like she’s out of your league, then she will be.

Let’s say there are two guys at a party and they both like the same girl. Mr. Alpha walks right up to her and starts a conversation. Mr. Beta keeps glancing at her, but looks down every time she returns eye contact. After three drinks and an hour of psyching himself up, he finally approaches.

The woman doesn’t know either of these guys. Mr. Alpha acted like he thinks he is on her level. She may or may not agreeshe’ll have to get to know him to find out. She doesn’t know Mr. Beta either, but he knows himself best, and if he doesn’t think he’s on her level, who is she to disagree?

So, how do you tell a woman that you’re on her leveleven if she seems unattainable?

Be a challenge. Flirting is a game and she wants to play too. I know it’s hard to be a challenge when you’re really into someone; one thing I tell clients is to act as if you have ten other women in your social life who are just as pretty or amazing as her. Don’t say this to her. Just act like a man with options and see how it changes your behavior. For example:

1)    Tease and joke around with her

That unattainable woman you have a crush on is probably starved for someone to be genuine with her. Most people in her life probably resent her for her beauty, assume she’s a bitch, or suck up to her because they want something from her.

Tease her and joke around, like you might do with a younger female cousin who you like hanging out with. Don’t act like a jerk, but don’t walk on eggshells around her either. If you had options, you wouldn’t worry about accidentally offending someone.

2)    Don’t act too invested in her

Don’t answer every phone call or text right away. Don’t try to keep every conversation going until she ends it. A lot of guys get hurt or even resentful if a woman cancels on a date or doesn’t call them back. That tells her right away that she’s out of your league. You wouldn’t do this if you had a ton of other women in your life; guys who are on her level would just call another girl.

I’m not saying you have to put up with behavior you don’t like. But a guy with options wouldn’t lecture her about it; he’d just stop calling her. A lot of the time, she will be the one who gets back in touch.

3)    Project confidence

Speak slowly. Hold eye contact. Move deliberately and never waste a movement. Always act as if everything is going according to plan.

It’s impossible to decide to be confident. But what you can do is project confidence. She won’t know the difference. And when all else fails, remember those ten amazing women who want you so much.

4)    Don’t play tourist in her life

If you happen to meet the Playmate of the year or your favorite actress, don’t waste that opportunity by interviewing her about her life.

She can’t be attracted to you if she doesn’t know anything about you. (And don’t become the question guy.) If you connect with her, there will be plenty of time to learn every detail about her life later.

Most of the time, she isn’t out of your league. Love Systems’ clients have gone on to date supermodels, A-list actresses, even minor royalty. One great thing about being a man is your personality and lifestyle are more important to most women than your looks. Change the way you act and you’ll change the results you get.

Nick Savoy is President and Founder of Love Systems, the largest and most successful dating coaching group for men. Follow him on twitter: @LS_Savoy

read more: Sex and Dating, sex, relationships, the pick up, dating advice


  • Anonymous
    nicely done, next you should make an article about "first impression or ice breakers"
  • Anonymous
    I'm loving these articles! Keep 'em coming please, Playboy!
  • Anonymous
    Great article. Love Systems is the real deal
  • Anonymous
    Fantastic! Thanks Nick.
  • Anonymous
    Wow, for real? A woman in a bar has to "get to know Mr. Alpha to find out whether he's on her level"? No. No no no. I'm a woman and I'll give you all some good advice, even though you probably don't want to hear it. Playing games and learning superficial tricks are not going to get you very far. If you want to get with a chick who's out of your league, then you need to work on actually getting in her league. Here's a hint: While looks are not the only thing I care about and confidence and personality definitely go a long way, I am just like ya'll in that I am really attracted to hot men. If you think a chick is "out of your league" because she's too good-looking, then try getting in her league by getting better looking. Having real confidence and a good personality (unlike the stupid tricks that Nick Savoy described in which you pretend to have more confidence and a better personality) do help with unattractiveness, but they don't make up for it. If you don't feel like investing that much in your looks though, then lower your fucking expectations. This is exactly what women do - it's exactly what I and my friends do - and ya'll need to learn that it works both ways. I was recently rejected by a guy who was so sexy and intelligent and funny that I could barely keep from drooling, but I'm not trying to play games or figure out shallow tricks to get with him. He really liked me as a friend, but he didn't think I was hot enough. And I'm a realist, he's right. He works as a model and I do not. So I've been working on getting hotter and hopefully someday guys like him won't be "out of my league" anymore. In the meantime, I've also been very happy with sleeping with and dating guys even though they have flaws, and they've been happy with me even though I'm not a Playmate. And isn't happiness the ultimate goal?