When I tell people that I’m a professional dating coach/pickup artist, the first question most guys ask is: “Can you give me some lines I can use tonight?”
Well…yes and no.
Four Truths about Pickup Lines
- There is no such thing as a pickup line that will get you the girl. You’re not Harry Potter and your pickup line is not a magic spell.
- The best thing that can happen from your pickup line is she’ll be interested in whatever you say next. That’s your goal – to start a conversation, not to pick her up with your first line.
- …But you do need to say something. Not having an automatic conversation starter that you can pull out in any situation is one of the biggest mistakes a man can make.
- When you see someone you like, you should approach right away – so you need a default opening line you can pull out of your back pocket. There’s no excuse to delay while you try to think of the right thing to say and psych yourself out. There’s no missing an opportunity to meet her or creeping her out because she sees you looking at her, working up your courage. See girl; meet girl.
Example Pickup Lines That “Work”
Again – none of these will get you the girl. All they’ll do is get her interested in what you’re going to say next.
DIRECT: “Hey, I saw you standing over here and knew I’d be kicking myself all day if I didn’t come over to find out what you’re like. My name’s ___________”
INDIRECT: “Hey, can you settle some drama for us? [Pause] Does a drunk ‘I love you’ count?”
INDIRECT: “Hey [pause]. Do you think my friend here should grow a moustache?”
With indirect openers, have a reason why you’re asking — for example, make up a situation that happened with your friend last night for “drunk I love yous.” Keep it lively and topical; you don’t want to her to think you’re taking a survey.
Once you’ve started the conversation, change the subject as soon as possible. No girl is going to fall for a guy after talking about moustaches all night. It’s just to break the ice. Once you give her your opening line, you have to transition…
Especially if you started with an indirect opener, you need to transition to a normal conversation. There are lots of ways to do this, but the most common is a cold read. Pretend to notice something about her; it doesn’t matter if you guess right or not. Don’t just ask a question like where she’s from. Take a guess. For example:
- “You’re from the East Coast, aren’t you? You have a kind of New York vibe.”
- “You’re…let me guess…a schoolteacher?”
She might wonder why you guessed what you did – you can make up a reason or say it was just a gut feeling. But now you’ll notice you’re in a normal conversation with her and can start attracting her.
Going up to women you don’t know and picking them up isn’t easy at first. It takes practice. But the first step in any pickup is to approach her right away when you see her and to use a “go-to” opener so you have no excuse not to approach.
About the Author
Nick Savoy is President of Love Systems, the leading dating consultancy for men, and has created many of the pickup lines that men commonly use today. He is also an active contributor to the PUA Forums.