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The Pick Up: How to Get Your Girlfriend to Have a Threesome (with You)
  • June 21, 2012 : 17:06
  • comments

The best way to get threesomes in your relationship is to plan for them before she becomes your girlfriend. Screening is easier than persuading. Plus, a woman is going to be more open to a threesome if your relationship has always been adventurous than if the idea seems to come out of the blue. 

But unless you have a time machine, there’s not much we can do about the early days of your relationship. So let’s go through the three key tips to getting a threesome if you’re already seeing someone:

Threesome Tip #1: Bring up threesomes from her perspective

Her reasons for wanting a threesome will probably be different from yours. In fact, many traditional male reasons to want threesomes will be unattractive to her, so stay away from them. Think more “I want to share another woman with you — I think that could be a fun and powerful experience for us as a couple” and less “I’ve been thinking about doing you and your best friend at the same time.

Threesome Tip #2: Address her objections before she even thinks of them

Even a woman who is happy to hook up and have casual threesomes will often have anxieties when it comes to having a threesome with her boyfriend or husband. For example:

  • she’s worried that you only want a threesome because she’s falling short, and/or that you’ll like the other woman more than her
  • she’s worried she won’t be able to handle seeing you with another woman
  • she’s worried a threesome will open a can of worms she can’t control — will you start seeing other women without her there? Will you start hitting on her friends? Etc.

Whether these fears are rational in your situation is beside the point — one of the biggest Love Systems rules for succeeding with women is perception is reality. You still have to address her emotions.

So…do you just pull up a chair and tell her that if she’s worried about any of these things, that they’re not true? Not at all. For one thing, you might worry her about something she’s not even thinking about yet. More importantly, doing this will make her less likely to trust what you say, not more.

Think about how persuasion works. If someone is trying to set you up on a blind date with his sister and tells you that she has a “great personality,” you would be skeptical. But if that person just happens to be telling a story where his sister seems like a cool person, you’d be more likely to trust what he’s saying. And if he brings the blind date up at another time, you might be more interested. 

Same thing goes for threesomes. Tell her a story where there’s a B-plot involving threesomes and how they contributed to the relationship. Be subtle — if you’re obvious, it will turn her off. Make sure that the story works just as well without the implicit public service message about threesomes. If you’re really stuck, make up a female friend who asked you for advice because she wants to explore threesomes with her boyfriend and then tell her what “advice” you gave your friend. 

Threesome Tip #3: Timing matters

Bring up threesomes when your relationship is going well and you’re having lots of sex, not when things are going badly or there’s a dry spell. She has to think of threesomes as something built on top of an already great relationship, not as a cure or band-aid for a relationship that has problems. 

All in all, some women will easily want to have threesomes and other women won’t even consider the idea. But for most women, it depends on you and how you approach it. Good luck!

About the Author

Nick Savoy is the President of Love Systems, the largest and most successful dating consultancy for men. Recent products include how to get a threesome and Nick Savoy’s Relationship Management Course (including threesomes, multiple relationships, friends with benefits, traditional relationships, and predicting when your partner is about to cheat).

read more: Sex and Dating, sex, the pick up, sex advice, threesome

4 comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I will try, but those three concerns/objections that you listed may be a little hard to refute.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Anonymous - I think that's the challenge Savoy is talking about: refuting those concerns
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Holy shit. I just stumbled on this article and it's GOLD. I wish I had known all of this with my ex!
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