PLAYBOY: How, as a married man, do you handle your sexual attractions?
ROBBINS: When I met Steven Tyler, I asked him what kept him going in the band for 35 years, and he laughed: “Front-row blondes.” Women up front who expose themselves, forget to wear their panties, just crazy shit. In my seminars I could be ugly as hell, but when you have a position of leadership, women will throw themselves at you. But I knew the difference between what the animal and what my soul would be fed by. I look at what I have in my life, and there’s zero comparison.
PLAYBOY: It’s 14 years later. Is the passion alive, or has it gotten boring?
ROBBINS: It’s the furthest thing from boring, and I’m not saying this to brag, because I was a total failure in this aspect for 14 years of my previous marriage. I expected it should just happen. Or if it didn’t, then it wasn’t there. I was just stupid. Now I make it my focus. We both know how to trigger and arouse each other, which is a useful thing, without going into any detail.
PLAYBOY: What do you mean by triggers?
ROBBINS: It might be a body part of your partner’s, something they say, something passionate or playful. Once you’re aroused, desire has a chance to step in, which leads to the sensuality. That allows you to take that desire and fire on it.
PLAYBOY: Do you have sex more than once a month?
ROBBINS: [Laughs] Yeah, that would be a good description. A lot more than that, yes.
PLAYBOY: After 14 years?
ROBBINS: Ask my wife. See what she tells you.
PLAYBOY: So you’re a happy guy.
ROBBINS: The happiest I have ever been. Sage is one of the greatest gifts God’s given me. My whole life is driven by love. It always has been. It’s never been driven by material things—which are just benefits of doing something I loved. When people say money doesn’t matter, it sure as hell does when you’re able to show your mother a beach house and then hand her the keys to it. That was one of the happiest moments of my life.
PLAYBOY: What do the material possessions mean to you? You travel by private plane, own a 525-acre resort in Fiji, plus four other homes including your main residence, a $25 million estate in Palm Beach.
ROBBINS: It would be stupid not to say I’m very grateful for them. But if it all disappeared tomorrow, I’d be fine. At the core, it’s relationships that make people happy. Accomplishments won’t do it. Who you’re connected to is everything. I also have something else, which is a deep sense of meaning.
PLAYBOY: Do you mean your mission?
ROBBINS: Yes. What drives me is seeing people make breakthroughs that reconnect them with real passion.
PLAYBOY: When you witness a transformation, what happens for you personally?
ROBBINS: It’s like something steps into me, and it’s only later that I try to figure out how it happened. I know a huge part of it is grace. I never forget that. I often go backstage and get tearful. To think I could start out as a janitor and wind up making a real difference in people’s lives. [chokes up] I mean, you can see the tears, and I can feel it in my body right now. I know I’m not the answer for everything and everyone, but in my soul I was made to be a person who could help. I’d love to have as much time as possible.
PLAYBOY: But if you died tomorrow?
ROBBINS: I’ve had a blessed life. That’s not to say I didn’t have extreme stress and pain. People I loved didn’t love me. I’ve been told “You have a tumor.” I’ve buried two fathers and a mother. I’ve been in businesses that were on the edge of bankruptcy. And thank God I didn’t give up. Remember, I’m the kid who lived in a house with tinfoil on the windows, shutting out the light. But my passion today is turning that light on.