Eight Reasons Why Wikipedia Is Not Safe For Kids

By Jacopo della Quercia

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The world is indeed a scary place, a Wikipedia has all it's terrors assembled in one place that's definitely not safe for children.


8. NO DISCLAIMERS

THE GUILTY PARTIES: “Molotov cocktail;” “Homemade bomb.”

There aren’t a lot of pages on Wikipedia that start off with “DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.” We know that because either of these two entries could turn a liquor cabinet into a weapons lab.

  1. “SEE ALSO”

THE GUILTY PARTIES: The whole damn site.

Wikipedia regularly makes suggestions to related pages for each article. For example, if you were to do some research on penises for school, you will immediately find hotlinks taking you to articles on penis nvy, micropenis, phalloplasty and penis enlargement. (For obvious reasons.)

  1. THE TRUTH

THE GUILTY PARTIES: Death, My Lai Massacre, Rape of Nanking, Indian massacre, the Holocaust.

Let’s face it, the world is a pretty fucked-up place. You got wars, genocides, torture, depraved sexual practices, and the kind of stuff that people have a difficult time living with even as adults. Wikipedia holds nothing back and could easily scare the living hell out of any kid once their report on Christopher Columbus goes from this…

  1. THE MISINFORMED

THE GUILTY PARTIES: Jesus, JFK, The Moon Landing, 9/11, Pearl Harbor.

Wikipedia makes it a habit to list controversies/conspiracy theory-related junk for just about as many subjects as crazy people can deny. Making things worse is the fact that kids tend to be suckers due to all this knowledge being very new to them. As a result, Wikipedia opens them up to an entire world of conspiracy misinformation.

  1. WIKIPEDIA IS NSFW

THE GUILTY PARTIES: Everything from Pornography to Bikini Waxing.

Wikipedia provides both detailed descriptions and pictures of pornographic material as well as descriptions of books, movies, and situations that are easily inappropriate for anybody under 18, and even most people over 18 at the workplace. However, even some non-pornographic material can lead to high quality, hi-res pictures of genitalia and carnal acts that put some porno sites to shame.

  1. WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY

THE GUILTY PARTIES: Everything.

Even a kid can rewrite a Wikipedia article if he or she really wants to. Think about that for a minute…

  1. TOO MUCH INFORMATION

THE GUILTY PARTIES: Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, Where do babies come from?

Wikipedia provides instant andswers to some very serious questions that are guaranteed to traumatize a child, or at the very least lead to some serious crying.

  1. (DISAMBIGUATION)

THE GUILTY PARTIES: Creampie, Pearl necklace, Doggie, Pussy, Cowgirl, Snowballing, Tea bag.

Imagine you’re playing with your Easy-Bake Oven and you want to make a cream pie. Neither you nor your play-date know the recipe, so you hope onto Wikipedia. Your search brings you to two paths: Cream pie (dessert) or Creampie (sexual act). You’re about to click on the former until the “x” in “sex” catches your attention. As the two of you giggle over “sex” being a dirty word, you click on the latter…

One of the beauties of YouTube is that it lets you know when you’re about to go from laughing babies to something straight out of Hell. For an audience who probably has no idea what sex looks like, introducing them to the subject by showing them a creampie is like introducing a kid to Beethoven by showing them A Clockwork Orange. There is nothing on Wikipedia to protect a child from the horrific consequence of looking up something as fun to play with as Grandma’s pearl necklaces…

Or something that they make very clear to you is, ”Not to be confused with doggy style,” link included, too late after the fact.


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