Charlotte gets her first kiss from a new guy who grosses her out by slobbering over her whole face. Later over brunch, she elicits universal groans around the table by describing the guy actually licking her teeth. Miranda thinks it's worse when a pointy tongue is jabbing her in the mouth. Samantha adds that she actually dumps a guy if he expects her to do all the work and his tongue just lays there like a clam. She explains, "If his tongue's just going to lay there, what do you think his dick's going to do?"

What they're telling us:
A bad first kiss will douse her pilot light... maybe for good.

Follow-through:
Don't dart and jab your rigid tongue into her mouth, and don't just let it sit there, either. Slow and steady wins the race. And for God sake, don't lick her face.