Just The Tips

Just The Tips

We Can't Only Blame Men for the Orgasm Gap

We Can’t Only Blame Men for the Orgasm Gap

In all these years, we’ve yet to figure out how we can help women orgasm as often as men. A national study from 2010 found 85 percent of men had climaxed the last time they had sex compared to just 64 percent of women. The 21 percent discrepancy represents the–still sizeable–orgasm gap. Most articles, pundits and YouTube sexperts blame men for this gap, labeling the entire gender lazy and selfish in the bedroom. Women, however, are postured as helpless victims of the patriarchy. This position drives me crazy, and such rhetoric is anything but productive. No matter what men do or don’t do, they seem to land on the losing side every time. They are supposed to care about a woman’s orgasms, but are told not care too much. They’re supposed to want to please a woman, but not get any pleasure from it. The “rules” read one contradiction after the next. When I’m having an orgasm, I care about me, myself and I. And when I’m making a man climax, I feel like a powerful goddess. For…

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