A NIGHT AT THE IMPROV

You can tell how good a guy's going to be by his personality. If he's attentive and observant, that's probably how he's going to be in bed. So when he goes down on me, instead of going right for the clit, he'll kiss and touch my thighs. When I wait, things are much better. The anticipation is so much fun. I want to be begging for it. I also love a guy who mixes it up to the point where I don't know what he's going to do. I like the uncertainty. I loved this one guy who was very mysterious sexually; I never knew what was coming next. He really kept me on my toes. He'd try new positions or he'd keep my underwear on, and it could happen at any time of the day. I need someone who is unpredictable. I hate knowing exactly what a guy is going to do.

HOWDY, NEIGHBOR

One time my boyfriend and I were outside on a lawn chair, having sex with our sunglasses on. We couldn't see well, and we assumed the trees were blocking us from view. But then we realized that the people in the apartment building next door were watching us. I should have gone over and asked them for money.