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6. What's the most memorable sexual experience you're ever had?
Rob Huebel: I was sleeping with this girl and she was on top of me. We'd both been drinking a fair amount. Suddenly, it was very wet all over the place, and I thought a little something was going on, but basically she was peeing all over my stomach. It became this bizarre thing where I was R. Kelly-ed by this girl, but I had to reassure her that I wasn't embarrassed. I just wanted to take a shower.
Paul Scheer: In college, I made out with this girl in an apple orchard. We thought we were off of the beaten path and started having sex, but then a family with little girls wandered down the wrong path. This family definitely saw us, because they immediately exited. I emotionally scarred three young girls showing off my sexual prowess in an apple orchard.
7. What is the most women you've slept with in a day?
Paul Scheer: I slept with three women in one day.
Rob Huebel: Shut the fuck up!
Paul Scheer: That was when I was being a jerk. That was one of the moments where I saw the power and was like, That's awesome. Then I had to stop. It was just too much. I retired my copy of The Game.
8. Have either of you had a threesome?
Rob Huebel: I have not. I'm making this interview boring and I don't mean to.
Paul Scheer: I haven't. I had an opportunity one time, and then I chickened out. It could have been a four-way situation, and I didn't want to see this dude naked.
Rob Huebel: I think comedians by their nature are socially awkward. Throwing more people into the mix is only going to end in disaster.
Paul Scheer: Yeah, then you have to start doing crowd work and work the room. "Hey, where are you from?" No one wants that.
9. Have either of you ever had sex with a groupie or a fan?
Rob Huebel: Yes, there's no way around that.
Paul Scheer: My whole point is, if I can make you not a fan after we have sex, then my job is done. Teach them a lesson that they should never do that again.
10. Do either of you have nicknames for your penis?
Rob Huebel: I had an old girlfriend who called my dick Gustavo. We were in L.A. and a gardener named Gustavo would come around every morning at the place we were staying. I think we were having a lot of sex in the morning, and then she started calling it Gustavo. She would talk to it and do this stereotypically Spanish voice. Speaking in Spanish to my penis was not a turn-on.
Paul Scheer: I actually named mine Manute Bol, after the NBA basketball player.
11. Have either of you ever used drugs to enhance your sexual experience?
Paul Scheer: I've had sex on ecstasy. It was awesome. Ecstasy makes you think you're a good dancer, so when you take it during sex, you're like, I'm feeling things I never felt! Now I know how Sting feels with his Tantric visions and eight-hour sex sessions! You think you've figured it out.
Rob Huebel: I did have a friend who was a drug rep for Pfizer who gave me a sample packet of Viagra. I used it one time and it's retarded. It's the best thing ever. You have this thundering log between your legs. The problem is the next day you need to repair holes in your drywall because your dong is like this lead pipe knocking holes into the wall. You need to go to Home Depot and buy some spackle.
12. Is there anything better than sex?
Rob Huebel: A really good rollercoaster ride. A room full of puppies is better than sex.
Paul Scheer: And crying children. No, sex is the best thing in the world. It's awesome.
Rob Huebel: I still say a room full of puppies.


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