JH: I had this one girl who followed us around asking to get married. Finally, one day she couldn't take it anymore that I wasn't even talking or responding to her, so she just came up alongside me and started throwing left jabs and right hooks off the back of my head, screaming "I love you!" I started laughing, and that's because she hit like a girl. Which was good for me. It was one of those things where I was like, God, is that supposed to hurt? It felt like someone throwing little Nerf balls off my head.

7. If you could direct a porn, what would be in it?

JH: I'd have a really deep storyline, very large characters. Nah, I think I would go Italian style. They don't have storylines, just porn with good locations. Maybe I'd film on the Himalayas. The first people to fuck on Mt. Everest. It could be called Snowballs. It would be bungee fucking, parachute fucking, Mt. Everest fucking.

8. Have you ever used drugs to enhance sex?

JH: Yeah, they all do something a little different, don't they? Well, you shouldn't take acid. That's my recommendation. Because then all of a sudden you realize you're fucking a lamppost somewhere. Have I had that experience? We'll leave that a mystery.

9. Ever had really bad sex?

JH: There have been moments where I've been with a woman and I'm like, "God, you suck at this." So I've actually said, "Where's a glass of water?" and got up and left. I've done that twice. But that's all behind me now.

10. If you were a woman for a day, what would you do?

JH: I'd fuck everybody, just to see what the deal is. I'd go get shit-faced, have everyone buy me drinks, and just take on the Navy or something. I would be indiscriminate. Come one, come all. If I were a woman for a day I would also try to fuck Santa Claus, because I'd get all those presents after it was done. And think of all the elf help! Shit would go haywire. I'd be rolling Mrs. Claus, too, because you've gotta investigate that as well. Come on, if I were a woman looking to get laid, don't you think I'd want to go to a place called the North Pole?

11. Silicone implants: medical breakthrough or a waste of good plastic?

JH: Wasn't that a computer chip revolution or something? No, I'm not a silicone man. I don't like fake tits. I think classic Dolly Parton would be the one and only silicone moment that I would be into.

12. Ever read Playboy?

JH: It's a music magazine, right?

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Photo: Valerie Phillips