MA: I was 18. It was the first time for both of us, and it was terrifying. I had no clue, and didn't for a few more times. Then it got fun.

6. If you were a woman for a day, what would you do?

MA: I'd spend a lot of time playing with my new equipment.

7. Do scientists get laid a lot?

MA: There's nothing sexy about a scientist. We don't have science groupies or anything like that. Many scientists spend their evenings at the lab rather than in bed, so that's a thrill-killer. Then again, some lucky scientist invented Viagra, so they know a thing or two about getting off.

8. Does caffeine enhance the sexual experience?

MA: It can, if you do it right. Initially, caffeine will make you jittery, which is obviously not going to work well -- the "quick squirt" phenomenon. But if you drink a few pots of coffee and stay up all night, the next morning you will have a coffee boner. I have heard many a tale of marathon sex sessions due to the fortitude and longevity of the coffee boner.

9. Which Descendents song has the unlikeliest sexual connotations?

MA: I would say "Enjoy." It's a song about farting, but I used the word "queef" in it, not knowing that it's used to refer to post-sex vaginal expulsion of air.

10. What's the craziest thing a girl's ever done to score you?

MA: Show me her tattoo of my likeness on her crotch. It didn't work. Sex is already funny enough without having to look at a cartoon of yourself while doing it.

11. Do you have any nicknames for your dick?

MA: The pink palomino.

12. What's better than sex?

MA: When the sex is good, nothing. Sometimes ice cream can be better, but that's rare.

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Photo: Fat Wreck Chords