TTICD: That's easy. It was in New York, in the back of a speeding cab, in a beagle's ear.

7. What's your all-time most successful pickup line? And your least successful?

TTICD: The best is, "I didn't know angels could eat their own shit." The worst was, "If I told you you had a great body, would you hold still so I can fuck you up the ass?"

8. Ever have sex with a stranger?

TTICD: It's not like that for dogs. When we meet, we sniff each other's asses and then it's like you're old friends. "Here, take a whiff. C'mon, a big one. That's it. Now see? Already you know what I had for lunch and where I keep my keys."

9. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

TTICD: I don't get this question. I do both at the same time.

10. Do you like to talk dirty while making love?

TTICD: There's not much need for talking since I never see her face. It's really for the best because they all have dog breath.

11. What celebrity has the best-smelling ass?

TTICD: I'm glad you asked that because when it comes to asses, what matters most isn't the size, it's the smell. For example, you'd think that based on the size, J. Lo would have the best ass going, but it actually smells like Ben Affleck's hair gel.

12. If you could direct an adult film, what would it be like?

TTICD: If I directed an adult film, I would combine the timelessness of Lassie, Come Home and the pathos of Old Yeller with lots of fucking and sucking.

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Photo: Courtesy Warner Bros. Records