Triumph the Insult Comic Dog has become legend for pissing on everything sacred during his stints on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. The cigar-chomping rottweiler with the eastern European accent and tattered bow tie has only broadened his fan base since hooking up with MTV and pooping on the likes of Kurt Loder and Moby. On live television he famously asked Jennifer Lopez if he could sniff her butt. When the gluteally endowed diva fanned him off, Triumph pleaded to the camera, "She doesn't understand. For a dog, it's like climbing Mount Everest!" Triumph barked up the wrong tree, though, when he sicced an unamused Eminem at last year's MTV Video Music Awards and got roughed up by his bodyguards. Now, with a little help from Jack Black, Adam Sandler, Maya Rudolph, Conan O'Brien and his longtime writing partner Robert Smigel, Triumph marks new territory with his first CD, Come Poop With Me, featuring such tasty cuts as "Lick Myself" and the anti-spaying anthem "Bob Barker." With an MTV video in heavy rotation, the shin-humping ass-man takes a break to tell Playboy.com about his multiple-boob fantasies and the pleasures of auto-fellatio.

1. How old were you when you first masturbated and what were the circumstances?

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Oh yes, I remember it well. I was still a puppy. At the time I didn't realize just how sharp my teeth were and I tore a hole in my pink thing. It used to whistle when I took a piss. And that's how I got into show business.

2. Are you well endowed?

TTICD: I'm part toy rottweiler, part mountain hound, but with enough licking, I become part Great Dane, if you catch my drift.

3. Do you have a pet name for your penis?

TTICD: My underwear says "Home of the Dog Pounder."

4. Do you have any fetishes?

TTICD: I have multiple-boob fantasies. I mean, eight is great, but I get off on fake photos of poodles with 16 or 24.

5. Do you like to watch?

TTICD: I know it seems like some dogs like to watch people have sex, but that's because they're actually just waiting for you to ask them to join in. But of course you don't. And that's why they shit on your laundry.

next

01 · 02

Photo: Courtesy Warner Bros. Records