QUESTIONS OF THE WEEK - January 11, 2007

Bob, Hershey PA:

Should I consider mediation when I go through a divorce?

The Lawyer of Love:

Not generally. Mediation is not binding and may be a complete waste of money and time. Mediation can only work if you and your spouse agree on all issues. And if that was the case, you probably don't need a mediator to assist with your divorce, would you? The mediator is a referee who makes suggestions while you and your spouse air your dirty laundry. Usually by the time you leave mediation, your wife has spoken to the girlfriend wrecking crew who tells her that she is getting screwed by the terms she agreed to in mediation. At that point, she changes the terms and you commence your divorce after needlessly wasting funds on mediation. The bottom line is that even if you go to mediation, you still need your own divorce lawyer to draft your agreement, perform due diligence on the financials and disclosure of financial information and make sure you are protected. So why spend needless time and money on a mediator who is not working for you, not protecting you and cannot effectuate a binding decision.

Phil, Gary IN:

How much does a divorce cost?

The Lawyer of Love:

Once again, this depends on how litigious your case is, whether your wife caught you getting a blowjob in the office, issues involving children and numerous factors beyond your control. If you married the rocket scientist who still likes you, your divorce will cost as much as the honeymoon. If you married Lucy Lucifer, the divorce will collectively cost as much as the honeymoon, engagement ring and wedding.

Steve, Bolder CO:

Can I date during my divorce?

The Lawyer of Love:

This is a bad idea. If you are seeking custody of your children and your dating activities take time away from your kids, your spouse will undoubtedly use this against you. If you are spending money on your girlfriend -- and even if you are not, your spouse will say you are -- your spouse will spend thousands making allegations that you are dissipating the marital estate.

Dating during your divorce will also lengthen your divorce and increase the amount of funds you spend on attorneys' fees and costs. Even if your spouse has some young strapping stud boyfriend at her side, you are rubbing salt in her wounds by dating during the divorce. She will then become more peeved (if that is even possible) and ensure that the case does not end until you are sufficiently tortured.

If you are that needy, buy a dog.