Christian's Tailgate Grill & Bar
7340 Washington Avenue
Houston, Texas
713-864-9744

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Just off I-10, in a remodeled former convenience store next to a Denny's, there exists a hamburger. No, it is more than a burger. It is a declaration of what Texans are all about, and that is an unabashed appreciation of well-handled red meat. Locals still call the place by its old name, Christian's Totem, and they stick with the thick, juicy jalapeño cheeseburger, the kind of guilty pleasure where the juice runs down your arm, and next thing you know you're trying to lick your elbow. The hand-formed patties are advertised as half-pounders, but it's got to be the heaviest eight ounces on earth. Don't be a hero. A single, served in a basket with waxed paper, is more than enough. The place is full of characters, including, periodically, ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons -- who looks like he could take on a full-pounder. (Of course, he'd leave about four ounces in his beard.) If you finish a whole Christian's burger, feel free to walk over to Denny's and mock anyone unimaginative enough to have ordered a Western burger. God knows you've earned it.

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Photos: Steve Christian