QUESTIONS OF THE WEEK - Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Sam J., Miami, FL:

I read that Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie are having marital problems and may divorce. But they have homes in England and New York. How do they pick where they file for divorce, and does it matter where they file for divorce?

The Lawyer of Love:

The Material Girl has reportedly declared that "love don't live here anymore." The tabloids say Madonna and her hubby are contemplating divorce. The rumors are flying, and according to the U.K.'s The Times and the Daily Mirror, Madonna recently met with Fiona Shackleton, the lawyer who represented Paul McCartney in his divorce from Heather Mills.

By Hollywood standards, Madonna's marriage has been fairly lengthy. Madonna wed British director Guy Ritchie in December of 2000. The couple has two sons, Rocco, 7, and David, 2, whom they adopted together. Madonna also has a daughter, Lourdes, with ex-boyfriend, Carlos Leon. Madonna and Ritchie have a home together in London, England and another home in the British countryside.

When the stakes are high, a party may consider what is called "forum shopping." In cases where more than one court has jurisdiction, it is not unusual for partners to shop around to find the one that offers them the best deal. If both spouses reside in different countries (or states) and commence divorce proceedings, then it becomes the courts' responsibility to decide the most suitable country (or state) to deal with the case. If the decision is between England and another country outside Europe, English courts render a decision based upon a number of discretionary factors too numerous to list but primarily review which country has the closest connection with the parties and their family. Forum disputes are strategic, extremely costly and -- with lawyers in two countries -- can be very lengthy and extremely acrimonious. When children are involved, it can become even more complex. It is essential, however, that wherever the party file, the court maintain personal jurisdiction. In its simplest form, personal jurisdiction means that the defendant-spouse must be personally served with process and have sufficient contacts with the jurisdiction in which the case is filed.

If Ritchie has half a brain, he has already filed his divorce petition in England, because it may not be a coincidence that Madonna is rumored to be hanging out in New York. Madonna and Ritchie reportedly do not have a prenuptial agreement, and the laws in England favor Ritchie, as Madonna is purportedly worth over $600 million. As stated in my answer on the McCartney-Heather Mills divorce, the divorce laws in England are much different from the states and actually serve to encourage forum shopping. In fact, England is known as the divorce capital of the world. The English standard for the division of assets is based on "fairness" (in other words, whether the judge likes or dislikes you). Not only do the English courts not enforce prenuptial agreements, the judges also consider all of the assets of each partner, not just those earned and gained during the marriage. The English courts have also been known to place inherited assets into the marital estate.

Although Madonna also has homes in New York and California, she may have difficulties establishing personal jurisdiction over Ritchie there and/or quickly establishing the residency requirements necessary to file a divorce in the states. The divorce laws in New York are based upon what is known as "equitable distribution." The New York court may not consider or distribute as marital property the premarital assets (which may include inherited assets) of either party unless commingled in some form and arguably a marital asset. In an equitable division jurisdiction, the court examines numerous factors in determining the fair or equitable division of the property accumulated during the marriage and the debts of the parties. New York has strict residency requirements that require a party to have "resided" there continuously for at least one to two years with such length depending on whether other certain conditions can be met. In California, a party must be a resident of the state for six months and a resident of the county in which it is filed at least three months preceding the filing of the petition for divorce. California is a "community property" state. Community property is all property that was acquired during the marriage. Community property is generally divided equally (50-50) by the court.

At this point, it is impossible to determine if forum shopping is involved or whether Ritchie and Madonna will even divorce. Only time will tell if the bad girl will be causing a commotion or keep it together and give Ritchie one more chance.

Gus G., Fort Worth, TX:

Did Coleman Laffoon get screwed or what? Anne Heche only has to pay him $275,000. That is a total joke. Her support was reduced to only $3,700 per month also. Why do all guys get screwed in divorce? Is it because she is a celeb?

The Lawyer of Love:

Well, we know that Coleman got screwed at least once, because he and Anne Heche have a 6-year-old child, Homer Laffoon. Heche and Laffoon were married for approximately five years. A Los Angeles Superior Court judge entered an agreed divorce judgment requiring that Heche pay $275,000 to Laffoon, child support payments of $3,700 per month and 75 percent of Homer's private school tuition.

It is not possible to determine whether Laffoon got screwed in the divorce merely by a divorce agreement stating that Heche paid him the sum of $275,000. Moreover, Laffoon agreed to these terms and entered into a voluntary divorce agreement. An analysis of whether Laffoon received a fair settlement requires much more information relating to the value of the community property: the value of each party's separate property, if any, whether there was any dissipation and a myriad of other factors too numerous to examine here. Further, according to court orders (reported on TMZ.com), in late January 2008, the parties each received a distribution of $240,000 from funds being held in escrow in an attorney trust account. These funds were derived from the sale of a former residence.

With respect to the payment of support, Laffoon is a buffoon. Apparently, in the beginning of the case, Heche was paying the sum of $14,798 in unallocated support to Laffoon. Unallocated support is essentially the combination of child support and maintenance and generally taxable to the person receiving it (Laffoon) and tax deductible to the person paying it (Heche). As of January 2008, Heche became unemployed due to the cancellation of her television series, Men in Trees. At this time, Heche sought relief from the court and requested the termination of the unallocated support and asked that she merely be required to pay child support to Laffoon. Laffoon then filed a motion to continue the hearing on petition for a rule to show cause against Heche for non-payment of support and attorney fees. The court entered an order staying Heche's support obligation for the month of July 2008 and set the case for further hearing to review more current financial declarations of the parties.

In the interim and prior to reaching a determination on the foregoing petitions, the parties reached a final divorce settlement. In settling, Laffoon waived his rights to alimony or maintenance and agreed to accept the sum of $3,700 per month in child support. Laffoon also waived his rights to Heche's residuals.

Perhaps Laffoon should consider hooking up with Anne Hathaway or Liv Tyler. After waiving maintenance, Laffoon cannot go back to court and request it after Heche starts working again. At that point, Laffoon's relief will be to modify the child support Heche is paying to him. Obviously, Laffoon allowed himself to get fucked without experiencing any pleasure.

Doris M., New Hampshire

I am pregnant with my third child and am on bed rest, and so I cannot go out with my husband when he goes to social events or to hang out with our friends. One of my friends told me that this past weekend my husband was drunk and hitting on her and a few of our other girlfriends at a party while I was at home. What should I say to my husband? I do not think that he would cheat on me, but I'm really pissed that he's going out and flirting with other women while I'm at home laid up in bed!

The Lawyer of Love:

Unless you have photos or a video of your husband fucking another woman, accusations are meaningless and you will not be satisfied with his lame explanation no matter what he says. If you are truly concerned, hire a private investigator and get the truth -- do not rely on some bullshit hearsay from your girlfriends who may be insecure or have other motives. However, before you make the decision to hire the private investigator, you better prepare yourself for the worst. In other words, you must decide whether you really want this information when the added stress has the potential to cause you to lose the baby. If he is a cheat, then he will always be a cheat. So, some words to the wise: Wait until you give birth to a healthy baby, and then start your investigation.

Lee T., Las Vegas, NV:

I am 26, and I have been dating my girlfriend for about two years. She is 24 years old, smoking hot and very sexual. She has always talked about being a porn star. It is her dream. Recently, she told me that she has started the process of doing naked photos and softcore porn, with the hopes that she can be a successful porn star. I think I'm supposed to not want her to do this, but a part of me wants to let her do it. The problem is that I can get jealous. I'm just not sure if I'm okay with this. A part of me, though, is excited for her, and it would be cool to be with a porn star. She said she will not do it if I say no because of the emotional strain on our relationship. Advice?

The Lawyer of Love:

It "sucks" to be you. Here is the reality of your dilemma: Unless you plan on being the next Andrew Blake or Ron Jeremy, your relationship will not survive your girlfriend's first gangbang scene. If you are jealous in your vanilla world now, think of how you will feel when you see your girlfriend engaging in hot sex with another guy -- or worse. If you are not the voyeuristic type who gets turned on by such acts, then you will be one miserable dude.

Now, let's talk about the STD factor. Everyone in the porn industry claims that the porn stars are constantly tested. But in reality, there is no way to catch up when the stars are having unprotected sex with multiple partners all the time and may be possible carriers of AIDS, herpes or other diseases. Do you like to feel fire when you piss? Do you enjoy having a catheter or other objects inserted into the head of your penis? Do you get pleasure from taking oral antibiotics? If you answered yes to all of these questions, then porn is the way to go.

Even with all these considerations, if you tell your girlfriend not to live out her dream in porn, she will resent you and make your life a living hell. So in the end, you need to decide if you are really ready to conclude this relationship, or do you want to ride it out to determine if you can handle your girlfriend's new porn career? Unfortunately, only you can decide.