Tiki bars -- those exotic time-capsule relics from your dad's swingin' bachelor days -- are proudly back in action after laying dormant for more than three decades. New tiki bars (named for tikis, the exotic spirits and gods featured in those kitschy wood carvings from the South Pacific) are popping up all over the world to meet a growing demand, replacing many of the lost tiki temples that turned into pharmacies and fast food joints during the Seventies and Eighties. Certain legendary spots (such as the spectacular sub-aquatic Polynesian paradise within the Chicago Playboy Mansion) can never be replaced. But a few classics remain, along with a new generation of tiki bars ready to ease today's frenzied bar-hoppers into a more relaxed lifestyle. So turn the music down, dim the lights, and get ready to cop a rum buzz with your wahine (that's Hawaiian for a femme), because the tiki gods have returned.

The phrase "mai tai" isn't just the name of a drink -- it also means "the best." So here are the mai tai tiki bars, coast to coast:

The Real Deal
Tiki Ti
Los Angeles, CA
Open on select nights, and barely seating 30, the Tiki Ti was opened more than 40 years ago by Ray Buhen (who started his career bartending for Don the Beachcomber, the 1930s mixologist who invented many modern tiki drinks). His son and grandson keep Ray's legacy alive with more tiki ephemera crammed behind the tiny bar than can be truly absorbed in one sitting. Speaking of absorption, Ray's own secret drink recipes are legendary -- and available nowhere else. When you hear the crowd chant "Toro! Toro! Toro!" join in: As long as the chant continues, the booze will continually flow into the drink currently being poured.
Mai Tai Inu (The Best Drink): Ray's Mistake. No one but Ray's descendants knows what's in this one, and if you remember to order it, you'll never forget it.

Teriyaki, Turtles and Tiki
Jardin Tiki
Montreal, Quebec
A favorite place for tin medal Olympians to agonize over their defeats with a serious cocktail, Jardin Tiki opened just in time for the Montreal Olympics in 1976. This glass A-frame (a slant-roofed architectural feature reminiscent of Polynesian dwellings) in the still-extant Olympic Village neighborhood sports a cheap and extensive Chinese and Polynesian buffet, the usual array of fruity rum drinks, big tiki gods poking out of the foliage, and a turtle pond. Honu -- the Polynesian word for turtle -- is a spiritual figure on some of the islands, and plenty of spirits figure into the potent potables at Jardin Tiki (that's Tiki Garden for those of you who fell asleep in French class).
Mai Tai Inu: Singapore Sling. One of the few true tiki drinks not made with rum, this gin and brandy concoction complements the pan-Asian fare in the buffet.

Swankiest Cocktails
Trader Vic's
Emeryville, CA
Victor Bergeron, the one-legged bon vivant better known as Trader Vic, invented what is perhaps the most famous tropical drink ever -- the mai tai roa oe, or mai tai for short. Forget that swill you made from prefab mix at your frat parties -- a real mai tai is a helluva good drink. As it happens, Bergeron also invented a grip of other classic libations, all of which must be sampled at one of five remaining U.S. Trader Vic's restaurants (or the 15 international ones). The food is also outstanding. The Fifties-era vintage Emeryville location ranks highest; it's packed with amazing tiki artifacts, original works of art and nautical equipment that are practically museum quality.
Mai Tai Inu: Mai Tai Roa Oe. No one makes Trader Vic's masterpiece like the bartenders at his Emeryville location.

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photos by Justin Zucker