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Max McCalman may just be the Hugh Hefner of cheese. He almost single-handedly brought respectability to a misunderstood subject, helped popularize it beyond belief and continues to be its chief advocate. In his new book, Cheese: A Connoisseur's Guide to the World's Best (Clarkson Potter/Publishers, $32.50), the Picholine restaurant's maître fromager -- that's like a sommelier for cheeses -- and dean of curriculum at the Artisanal Cheese Center, covers 200 great cheeses almost as if they were Playmates: Readers learn where each cheese comes from, how it grew up, its stats (i.e., its size in wheel form), and its ideal wine pairings. Each one also gets a full-color close-up -- a cheese cheesecake shot, if you will. Playboy.com spoke to the big cheese himself and picked up a few tips -- plus an arsenal of cheesy conversation starters.

Some characteristics apply more to one animal type than to another. Goat's milk cheeses are most often made to be consumed when they are younger rather than older, partly because goat's milk can acquire a gamy flavor with aging. It can be a challenge for some palates because it can be chalky in texture and flavor. In sheep's milk cheese, some people note a sweet characteristic. I think that's probably more particular to the cultures that are used -- a caramel flavor is employed in some of those cheeses. Sheep's milk also tends to have more of a nutty flavor than goat or cow. Cow's milk cheeses exhibit a buttery quality. Of the three, cow's milk can age longest and most successfully -- up to six years. Goats get only a few months, though they can go up to a couple of years, and sheep can go up to a year.

When I first started dealing with cheese on a full-time basis 11 years ago, I would sometimes send back cheese that probably was at its peak because I didn't recognize that a cheese that smelled faintly of ammonia might actually be at its most glorious. It was not until a woman who had been in the cheese world for many years came in to visit Picholine that I was told, "Before you send that back you might actually taste it. You smell that ammonia? Well, it's just a natural byproduct of the degradation process." So, a trace of ammonia is not necessarily a bad thing.

Some of the strongest aromas come from the washed-rind varieties, sometimes known as smear-ripened. The color is usually a pinkish-orange. If they are closer to red, then that probably indicates the addition of food coloring. One of the stinkiest I ever had was a washed rind from Switzerland: Stanser Schaf Reblochon. It makes you wonder why people make cheeses like that when you smell it. It may be too much even for people who think they like stinky cheeses. But while the aroma can be strong, even putrid, the flavor may be completely different.

One would think that if a cheese has aged for a couple of years, it would become more expensive because of the extra care and ripening. But the priciest categories seem to be: 1) sheep's milk cheese, because a sheep doesn't yield as much milk as a goat and cow, and 2) cheeses that need to be air shipped, like ones from Europe to the States or from one end of the country to another. An example might be a Loire Valley goat's milk cheese. It needs to be air shipped and that can tack on an extra 35 to 45 percent.

Wines and cheeses from the same terroir do not necessarily go well together. It is infrequent that an acre of land devoted to cheese production is also appropriate for wine production. Some people think: "I'm having French cheese so I should have French wine." Now France is not a huge country, but there is a big diversity of terroir types, soil, water and microclimates. Some of the best pairings I have found between cheese and wine are not even in the same hemisphere, much less the same country. Ultimately, it is the balance of salt and sweet. So a salt cheese might be better with a sweeter wine, which will often flatter it.

Cheese is slow food. You have to let it do its thing. It needs an hour out of a fridge; it should be brought up to room temperature slowly. And you can't microwave it to speed up the process. It scares me to think what could happen to a precious cheese inside a microwave.

We're doing a good thing by adding cheese to our diet because it means we'll eat less overall; there are ingredients in cheese that, in laboratory tests, cause animals to eat less. Milk, which is our first food as mammals, gives us everything we need and in the form of cheese that's just concentrated. Lactose is also lost when milk is converted to cheese, and cheese is the best source of calcium.

Cheese is alive. You need something that allows the cheese to breathe when storing it -- even the pasteurized milk varieties still need air. If they don't have air exchange, then the cheese will become putrid. If it's pasteurized, that putrescence often leads to decay. I am reminded of a cadaver when I am around a cheese that is suffocating.

With freezing, the biggest harm is that the cheese will not have the air exchange necessary and it will dry. If a cheese gets too cold, its fat-protein content can also be altered. Wine coolers are better than a refrigerator. A pretty good standard temperature for most cheeses is around 50 degrees Fahrenheit.

When to have the cheese course, before or after dinner? I like cheese at the end of a meal because if you have cheese at the beginning of a meal, it pretty much satisfies your hunger. Then again, that's not a bad thing: If you have cheese as an appetizer, you may not overeat during the rest of the meal.