E-mail this to a friend »

Barroom scams, crooked card games, chain letters, work-at-home schemes, "free" vacations, dice cheats. Take it from ex-professional con man Simon Lovell, there are thousands of ways to get cheated out of your hard-earned cash. In his new book, How to Cheat at Everything, Lovell reveals the tricks of his former trade. Lovell pulls back the curtain on dozens of scams and hustles, everything from simple scams for getting free drinks to the criminal frauds considered the most common and dangerous by the New York Police Department.

"Some people write about cons with a preachy tone," Lovell says, "but my book is more a fun romp through the world of the con man. I shouldn't say this, but some cons can be brilliant. After all, there's a beautiful elegance about Victor Lustig selling the Eiffel Tower twice."

On the other hand, there's nothing elegant about getting cheated at cards, or having your girlfriend fall prey to a psychic scam. "Unless you're sitting in a big game, in a sleazy place, with $25,000, the chances of you running into a big con man, at that level, are negligible," Lovell says. "The chances of you running into a guy who's going to take a couple hundred bucks off you -- that's gonna happen once or twice in your life, easy."

With this in mind, Lovell briefs us on some cheats to look out for and general advice on avoiding con men, so you'll always be playing to win. "If you look like you're what we call in the trade 'fast company' -- somebody with knowledge," Lovell says, "then you're less likely to be conned."

Diabolic Duo
Just like in a fight, a poker game isn't fair if it's two against one. And a common poker scam involves two players working in collusion. They don't even have to win every pot. By signaling each other what cards they have, the pair can get an advantage over everyone at the table. "Whichever of the team has the worst pair folds, every time. The team gets to play the best of two hands, and everyone else only gets to play one." Collusion is rife at underground poker clubs. Sometimes, colluding partners will be overly antagonistic to each other, but there's no universal tip-off that people are colluding. "Good poker players have a sixth sense that tells them that something isn't right in a game. If you get that feeling, trust it, get up and walk away."

Getting Your Checks Cashed
You just won a big hand at a poker game. As you lean back in your chair to celebrate, another player says, "Nice job," and pushes the huge pile of chips your way. With a little subtly applied stick'em, like what bankers use to separate bills, he also palms a couple of your chips (or "checks," as they are known in the business). "Never let anyone other than a dealer touch your chips," Lovell says.

Three's Bad Company
You see a big crowd around a man quickly tossing cards in a game of Three Card Monte. There's a guy at the table trying to pick out the red queen, and he's done it several times in a row. You watch him try to follow the queen, and he picks the same card you would have -- several times in a row. You get confident you can do it, too. Next thing you know, you're out a lot of money. "If anyone tells you they won money at Three Card Monte," Lovell says, "they're either a shill or a liar." A shill is a man who is working with the Monte man, "winning" hands to lure in a mark. And the shill isn't the only person in the crowd watching the game who is in on the action. There might be a "hook" -- a cute girl who encourages you to get in the game. There's likely a "dip," or pickpocket, who will go for your wallet if you're just watching. And there's definitely a "Freddy," short for "Fourteen Week Freddy," the muscle behind the game, who will step in when victims get angry. "They call him Fourteen Week Freddy because you'll spend 14 weeks in the hospital when he's done with you," Lovell says. Often, the only person in the crowd not in on the scam is you. "They call that the 'hot seat'." Avoid it.

The Curse of Psychics
Most guys aren't going to go to psychics. Their girlfriends or wives, on the other hand, go in for tarot readings and love lines, often done by "shut-eyes," as they are known in the con business -- people who actually believe they can tell the future. If it's just a $25 "therapy" session, Lovell has no problem. But some psychics -- the "open-eyes" -- know it's a fraud and are simply in it to make as much money as possible. These people can take the psychic scam to much more expensive levels. They will say that you are suffering from a curse, and that you must pay them thousands of dollars to remove it. "They'll break open an egg and a spider will crawl out, and they'll say the curse is removed, now you owe me $12,000," Lovell says. "The only curse you have is meeting them. Just tell them, 'Thank you, gotta go, I'm happy with the curses I got.'"

next »

Illustration courtesy www.simonlovell.com