(as told to Antonia Simigis)

Admit it: You spent December drinking spiked eggnog by the gallon and scarfing down enough gingerbread to build a house. No wonder your co-workers voted you to play Santa at the office party -- you got a tire around your stomach for Christmas. It's time to start working off those holiday pounds. Got no motivation? Well, Mistress Victoria is here to kick you in the 'nads.

A professional dominatrix for the past eight years, this sexy 29-year-old started forcing her out-of-shape clients (or "slaves") to do pushups and sit-ups during her private dungeon sessions. "They were these men with man-tits," she explains. "I had one client who would actually bring in snacks. So I'd make him run around the room and chase his little snack cakes, and smash them in his face rather than letting him eat them. Then I thought, maybe I'm on to something."

The result: Slavercise, Victoria's wildly popular fitness class at Manhattan's Musical Theatre Works. As her loyal followers will attest, a woman who does jumping jacks in five-inch stilettos and forces you to wear a pig nose (or, for the real slackers, the dreaded pink tutu) really gets your blood pumping. "People are more likely to pay attention to their workout if their personal trainer's a woman in leather with a whip," says Victoria, who is also a certified fitness instructor.

If you can't make it to class, you can buy the Slavercise workout video (filmed at Hellfire, a New York City S&M club, and featuring a heavily-abused Richard Simmons look-alike) at Slavercise.com. In the meantime, Victoria's given Playboy.com a few fitness tips to whip you into shape.

Set goals. "Challenge yourself, and your workout will have more meaning. Buy pants that are a size too small, then work out until you can fit into them. I had one slave who wanted to fit into a corset. He fits into it now. It's not as tight as he'd like it to be, but he's getting there. And for those of you with size issues, remember that your penis looks larger when you're thinner. Nobody wants to have sex with a guy who has to move his gut out of the way first."

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Photos by Misa Martin