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"This Chanukah, candles won't be the only thing getting lit!" says the label on the new Miraculous Jewbelation beer from Schmaltz Brewing Company, the makers of He'Brew, the "chosen beer." Yes, these will indeed be high holidays for Jews -- and for anyone schmart enough to grab a bottle of this deep, dark elixir.
It may sound like a gimmick, but this is fantastic beer. Kosher microbrewer Jeremy Cowan is celebrating the company's eighth birthday by releasing a bottle that has eight carefully crafted malts and hops. While that would normally be a recipe for disaster, this stuff is, simply put, a mitzvah. It looks intimidating with its nearly black body, medium head and ruby red edges. But the nose and palate tell a different story: Jewbelation has a malty, chocolate nose and combines bitter hops with toasted bread, nuts and a sweet-creamy flavor. The finish lingers with a bitter but silky chocolate taste.
In Cowan's beer-bathed, twisted mind, the secret to success is the mystical number eight. Elsewhere on the label, he lists all kinds of significant Jewish events that span eight days (Chanukah and Passover) or take place on the eighth day (circumcision)...or have any relationship to the number eight (Seinfeld ran for eight years, Bob Dylan has eight Grammys). You could easily drink eight bottles a week. Go look in your Magic 8-ball®, and if you don't see a Miraculous Jewbelation in your future, it may be time to convert.
-- James Oliver Cury
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