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Carmen Electra first appeared in Playboy in May, 1996, kicking off a long and storied relationship with our magazine. Now, 30 years after that first Playboy pictorial, and with countless Playboy features under her belt, Electra is back (and better than ever, we might add). This time, we put Electra in the driver’s seat, asking her to pose as Playboy Advisor and answer your biggest questions about love, dating, and life in general. Electra has lived—and now you get to learn from it.
I’m trying to meet people in real life and avoid the apps. I make eye contact with the guys who look at me, but they can’t take the hint. Should I make the first move myself, or just take it as a sign? —Layla F., Houston
I’m old-fashioned, so I prefer if the man makes the first move, although I have been known to do a little walk, sway the hips a little bit, you know, bat my eyelashes a little like a butterfly, and keep on walking. If they are really interested in you, they’ll talk to you or slip you their number.
I started watching the Scary Movie franchise way too young. I hear a new one is in the works, and I just can’t imagine the younger generation being able to handle it. Do you think there’s a place for these parody movies today, or should we just move on? —Quinn L., Athens, Georgia
There’s a place for these parody movies. When I was younger, I would sneak and watch Purple Rain, and me and my friends would pretend to be either Prince or Apollonia, and we would kind of play out the scenes together. We’d go over to other friends’ houses where we could watch it, and my mom never found out about it. It’s just one of those things where people are gonna sneak and watch if they’re not allowed to, and it’s OK as long as it’s not affecting you in a bad way, and you’re not doing anything to harm others or harm yourself. It’s all good. Have fun with it. Enjoy yourself.
Prince convinced you to change your name. I want to reinvent myself. Should I do it too? —Victoria R., Scottsdale, Arizona
Yes, you should definitely reinvent yourself and change your name if you’re not down with it. You could change it to anything you want. Maybe you’ll feel even more confident with your new name. Especially coming from someone like Prince—he gave me a lot of confidence. I thought [the name Carmen Electra] was really cool, and I recently decided to officially change it, so now it’s mine.
My wife and I have been married for 28 years. We’re both in our early 50s with children who have left the house. I want to explore the possibility of having a threesome, but I don’t know how to ask the question. Do you have any advice? —Michael R., Philadelphia
That’s a tricky question. I mean, has your wife ever kissed another woman? Do you see her flirting with women? Is she comfortable around other women? If she is, then maybe you could kind of ask her, but if you do decide to ask her, I would do it like this: “You’re my queen, and everything you say goes in the bedroom, so if we bring someone else into the picture, we’re going to be all about you.” Because you don’t want your wife to ever feel like you’re more into the other person—that’s going to be a disaster, so you’ve got to make her the queen of it. You guys have to pleasure her and make her feel like it’s all about her, and then she’ll be cool with it.
What should a man stop doing after 40? —Kyle H., Orlando, Florida
Nothing. Nothing at all. Keep it young, keep it fun, keep it hot, right?
I’m 32, six-four, and I spend a ton of time in the gym—and it shows. People say I have big-dick energy, but in reality, I have a micropenis and I’ve slept with only a couple of women. How should I tell someone I’m dating about my condition? —Johnny G., Denver
I’ve been there. You’d be surprised. If you find the right partners, it doesn’t matter how small it is—it’s how you work it. You have to use your fingers and your mouth, get down with it, and, you know, you’ve gotta pleasure her. I think you each would be all right with it.
I was the life of the party in my early 20s. Now I’m recently divorced and miss feeling reckless and hot. But I don’t want to destroy my life trying to relive 2009. How do I get that spirit back without fucking up my life or becoming a cliché? —Monica L., Portland, Oregon
Who cares about being a cliché? Go for it. If you’re in your 40s, you’re still so young. You need to go have fun, keep having fun, and live your life.
Other than reply to texts in a timely manner, what can I do to woo middle-aged women? —Alan C., Syracuse, New York
We do appreciate texting or calling appropriately. What you really need to do is make sure you don’t call her and say, “Hey, come meet me at a bar right now,” when it’s midnight. That’s a huge no-no. A woman likes to get ready, and she needs to make plans. Maybe call her early in the day and say “Hey, let’s go out tonight. I want to take you out. I’ll be there to pick you up.” Something like that sounds a lot better than “Hey, meet me at the bar,” you know? No, it’s not happening.
I split up with my wife a year ago, and I’m ready to date, but I’ve always had trouble performing the first time with someone. The idea of taking ED meds is embarrassing, but not being able to get it up is worse. What should I do? —Simon L., Boston
You can sneak and take the meds without them knowing, as long as you can make a woman wait a little bit. You can make out and do a little bit of some other things. That would turn a woman on more than just jumping her bones. Then when you get to know her really well, you can laugh about it and go, “Oh my god, this whole time I’ve been taking these meds to get it up—isn’t that funny?”
I want to buy my wife a sexy birthday present to spice up our love life. Are there any gifts you’d recommend for couples who have never used toys or anything of the sort before? —Manuel H., Appleton, Wisconsin
I would start with lingerie. Honey Birdette makes really good, cute lingerie sets, or Agent Provocateur. Say “Hey, I’m going to take you shopping, so be ready, and I’m going to be in the dressing room with you, and I’m going to buy you some lingerie,” just so she knows what she’s in for. Then you go in, and she’s trying on the lingerie, and you’re just watching. Then you’ll pick for her what you would love, what you personally get turned on with, and then you’ll buy it for her. Then I would just go to a sex shop and check out the toys, or maybe watch some porn together and see what your partner is into, and then you can go and get the right toys accordingly.
Are six-packs really that sexy? I don’t have the time to spend four hours in the gym every day, nor the inclination to inject experimental stuff that would give me a shortcut. —Rod F., Omaha, Nebraska
I don’t think they’re necessarily that sexy. I honestly think a man’s mind, how funny he is, makes a man sexy, but it’s not always about the six-pack. But a lot of really gorgeous women are dating guys that have a little Buddha belly, so I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’ve dated a Buddha belly before, once or twice, and it’s a dad bod vibe for sure. If you’re into them, you’re into them.