You probably don’t put a ton of thought into your coffee table. For example, here are my two criteria for an acceptable coffee table: 1) It can hold things and 2) I can put my feet on it. But maybe I should start reconsidering this neglected piece of living room furniture, because as it turns out, coffee tables are dope.
Or at least this one is. Surface Tension bills its brand-new Nucleus as a “contemporary arcade coffee table,” and if you’re wondering if there’s such thing as a noncontemporary arcade coffee table, I don’t know, probably not. Upon first glance, this is a good lookin’ piece of wood: The frame is American black walnut, European oak, and European birch ply, with gloss black side panels. But then you slide out the control panel inside and everything changes.
The panel reveals old-school arcade joysticks, buttons, a trackball, and a spinner, all so you can play more than 100 pre-installed arcade games. We’re talking Pacman, Space Invaders, Asteroids, Centipede, Pong, Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat II, and Mortal Kombat 3. What I’m saying is if you’ve ever wanted to play any of the Mortal Kombats right on your friggin’ coffee table, this is probably the coffee table for you.
Being able to relive your prepubescent glory days from the comfort of your couch should be reason enough to invest in one of these things, but the table also boasts a few bonus features that feel more like 2017 and less like 1983, including connectivity with online streaming services like Spotify, Netflix, and YouTube.
You can customize your own table—Built-in Sonos? Sure! Underglow lighting? Why not!—at Surface Tension’s site, as long as you’re prepared to pony up. Prices start at £3,299, which is about $4,300. But, dude: Space Invaders!