Stealthing, the act of removing the condom mid-sex without consent, is inarguably the most topical and concerning sexual trend on the lips of today’s sexually-active individuals, and for good reason.
The latest headline regarding this “rape-adjacent” trend comes courtesy of a particularly unsavory individual, “Brendan” (not his real name, naturally), who proudly and publicly expressed that he has stealthed women for years.
“I’ve only just heard about stealthing now and I think it’s a ridiculous claim,” he recently told Hack radio host Tom Tilley, explaining that he and his friends stealth women “most of the time” and that they are relatively unphased regarding the associated risks of unplanned pregnancies and STIs.
“I really don’t want to get them pregnant so I definitely wouldn’t be leaving a trace,” he says. “As for STIs, I don’t want to get them but I would run the risk.”
When the radio host warned the controversial caller that he’s putting the women at risk, Brendan, who gallantly describes himself as “not a dirty-looking guy,” responds: “Yeah I am. But I’m confident, I get checked regularly.” When further pressed, Brendan confessed that he isn’t tested after each sexual encounter.
“If I’m asked to put [a condom] on, which isn’t as often as you might think, people are pretty chilled with doing it bareback.”
He admits most women he stealths don’t notice when he removes the condom, but acknowledges that he has been caught in the past. In response to being caught, Brendan insists “nobody” has gotten mad at him. Women just request he put a condom on and innocently ask ”Do you mind? It’s safer.” When asked to don a rubber, Brendan will “normally” oblige her request.
The entire interview serves as a chilling reminder of how irresponsible and entitled men can behave in a sexual environment, especially when certain men in the stealthing community believe it’s their “right” to spread their seed.
“I don’t know. I don’t think I really make an agreement,” Brendan says of his technique. “I just put one on and if nothing is said I take it off. I don’t think it’s breaking the law.” He adds, “I’d be more worried about getting an STI than getting someone pull a lawyer on me for fraud when I’m having sex and I take a condom off.”
Thanks to men like Brendan, lawmakers in certain states are taking a stand, vehement in their belief that the act of stealthing should be considered sexual assault in the eyes of the law.
Assemblywoman Cristina Garcia is at the forefront of a proposed bill, titled AB 1033, that would clear the fog surrounding whether the act of stealthing is illegal. This bill follows another one of Garcia’s proposals by to expand the legal definition of rape, which became law last year.
Wisconsin was the first state to answer Garcia’s call and now California has joined the ranks. As of right now, California defines rape as “penetration, by a body part of a foreign object, without consent.” Garcia argues that stealthing should fall under the general definition of rape as penetration occurs without consent during stealthing, which is fact. Not to mention, victims of stealthing are exposed to all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases and even pregnancy.
“Stealthing is another sign that some men think they can still own our bodies,” Garcia said in response to the bill. “I hope all the men out there blogging are paying attention because in California we’re going to lead the nation in ending the ‘trend’ now.”