If you’ve resorted to swiping right on every profile as of late in an attempt to find a spring fling, stats from a new dating study, as reported by Mashable, might be useful to you. Conducted by Hater, the relatively new dating app that matches singles based on mutual dislikes, the study doubles as a comprehensive guide of dating profile do’s and don’ts.
First, analysts divided a base of male users into two groups: the most-swiped and the least-swiped men. (Anyone having flashbacks to high school? No? Just me?) They then took a deep look into discrepancies between the lowest and highest percentiles, which provided two ominent takeaways: (1) that women aren’t interested in men who wear cargo shorts (guys, this ain’t news) and (2) that men who drink PBR are super attractive (apparently).
Women are also noticeably deterred by single men who like anime, Pokémon Go and those who prefer Windows over Apple. All those characteristics together give you a pretty clear picture of a certain kind of guy, right? Someone who definitely microwaves Totino’s Pizza Rolls for dinner?
For the most-swiped, things are less cut-and-dry. In addition to their taste for hipster beer, women are drawn toward guys who like superfoods. (That’d be stuff like chia and acai.)
The enthusiasm for a healthy lifestyle ends there, however, because women are also drawn to men who drink their hangovers away with hair of the dog—though I’m pretty sure that’s just to gauge how brunch-friendly a man is. These highly rated specimens are also into Serial and using Airbnb. Fashion-wise, women like men who shop at J. Crew (despite that store going bankrupt) and favor slimmer jeans and v-neck sweaters. So basically, dress like The OC’s Seth Cohen and you’ll be good.
So, in sum, the only thing women seem to be unanimous about is their distaste for cargo shorts. If nothing else, keep these babies at the bottom of your drawer for occasions like building a Habitat for Humanity home from the ground up or hunting a dinosaur.
When it comes to catching some of that PBR power, just do what every guy who pretends to like it does: pose for a new profile picture with a $2 can while wearing Chuck Taylors. And then, become the worst person ever and talk about your love of acai bowls while also documenting your functional drinking problem. She’ll then be puddy in your hands, fellas—that is, as long as this doesn’t all add up to a severe case of casual catfishing.
Oh, fuck it. How about this: just be yourself.