To ghost or not to ghost—that is the question. A lot has been said about ghosting and in general, I find the practice to be cowardly and lame. But if I’m to be totally honest, I once ghosted a dude whom I promised not to ghost just because he showed me his favorite YouTube cat videos on our third date.

I’m not proud, but hey, sometimes it’s easier to ghost than to say, “I’m just not into it.” Sure, it doesn’t reflect well on your character and will only strengthen those lame coward muscles, but our integrity began to atrophy the moment we started swiping faces. It’s not a brave new world—it’s a gutless one. Nine times out of ten, you shouldn’t ghost someone but five times out of ten, you probably will. We’re here to help to figure out when’s the right—er, less dickish—time to do it.