The 10 Funniest Moments of the ‘Scary Movie’ Franchise

Trying to winnow down the best moments of the Scary Movie franchise is a cruel exercise. Not because there aren’t great comedic moments within the films, but because the franchise’s frantic gag pace can make zeroing in on single moments too hard. A complete triumph can be followed by a total clunker, while sight gags live comfortably next to pop culture homage. (The less said about the films’ commercial parodies, the better.) 

Since its debut in 2000, regardless of which horror subgenre it’s looking to slight — slashers, haunted houses, alien abduction — the Scary Movie franchise has been known for its irreverent humor, which seems to flood the theater zone with more gags than the average moviegoer can handle, hoping you at least remember the gut busters. It also catapulted many of its stars into long-lasting comedy careers, including Anna Faris and Regina Hall, while upping the profile of co-writers Shawn and Marlon Wayans. 

While the film series has its notable detractors, there’s no denying that it’s also responsible for many classic cinema guffaws. There are some great jokes — too many, in fact, to list — tucked away in each of its scripts, as well as extended scenes where its ethos and pace seem to be working the most in tandem. With the Scary Movie reboot coming out on Friday, June 5, and the Wayans Bros promising to “cancel the cancel culture” in comedy, here’s a look back at some of its most side-splitting humor, PC culture be damned. 

The Carmen Electra-Starring Opening Sequence, Scary Movie

The original opening of Scream featured Drew Barrymore in a bloody homage to the 1970s thriller When a Stranger Calls. The opening upended audience expectations immediately, killing Barrymore, who was one of the biggest names attached and had been on the film’s poster, just about 14 minutes into the film. For Scary Movie to land, it would have to spoof the iconic opening and stick the landing and, reader, it does. The four-minute opener featuring Carmen Electra, a frequent Playboy collaborator, who sets the speedometer for the film’s unending cavalcade of jokes. Many of those jokes are lifted directly from Scream’s screenplay, with either tiny tweaks or shifted deliveries that unlock the humor instead of the dread. (As Jordan Peele once said, “The difference between horror and comedy is the music.”) What isn’t to love about watching Carmen Electra take a baseball bat to a bunch of trick-or-treaters, grab a banana as protection instead of a gun or follow a road sign marked “death” instead of “safety”? 

Best line: “Kazaam! You know, that movie where Shaq plays a genie?” “That’s not a scary movie.” “Well, you haven’t seen Shaq act!” — Drew (Electra) in a phone conversation with the killer 

The Car Flashback, Scary Movie

While the overall structure and feel of Scary Movie comes from the Scream franchise — which, fun fact, was originally meant to be titled Scary Movie — the first Movie also features several elements from the teen slasher classic I Know What You Did Last Summer. That includes a  flashback scene where Cindy Campbell (Faris) remembers a night of drinking and debauchery when her friend crew — Brenda (Hall), Ray (Shawn Wayans), Bobby (Jon Abrahams), Buffy (Shannon Elizabeth) and Greg (Lochlyn Munro) — accidentally hit and kill (sorta) a pedestrian. Each of these stars gets their own highlights, especially for their death scenes, but Scary Movie’s original magic was that, when the ensemble was on screen together, they were firing on all cylinders. Whether it’s Ray getting pumped up to “It’s Raining Men” or Greg driving around with a bees’ nest on his head while Cindy gives Bobby road head, there’s no doubt that this ensemble worked because they all upped each others’ games. 

Best line: “Oh my god, we hit a boot!” — Buffy (Elizabeth), upon finding the crash victim’s shoewear on the road 

The Miss Teen Pageant, Scary Movie

If it wasn’t clear from her name, Scary Movie’s Buffy Gilmore is a facsimile for Sarah Michelle Gellar’s pageant queen Helen Shivers from I Know What You Did Last Summer. And the scene that takes place at her Miss Teen pageant is one of the film’s funniest, buoyed by Elizabeth’s delightfully dumb but committed performance. There are many moments of absurdist humor in the film, but this one is underscored by a host of dayplayers who, like the clueless fish that populate Bikini Bottom in Spongebob Squarepants, can’t tell that Buffy is actually witnessing Greg’s murder and instead think that she is doing a dramatic reading. The scene includes wonderful gags such as someone throwing a full vase of flowers at Buffy’s head and Buffy wearing a sash that says “Miss Fellatio.” 

Best line: “Must be an original piece.” — a pageant judge watching Buffy shout that Greg is being killed 

The Movie Theater Scene, Scary Movie 

As the movie progresses, and each character gets their allotted death scene, both Ray and Brenda are killed while on a trip to see, of all films, Shakespeare in Love. And each of their deaths are particularly memorable; Maybe the first penis I’ve ever seen on a movie screen was the one that impaled Ray through a bathroom glory hole, which I watched at the tender age of 11 while seated next to my grandmother at an Orlando multiplex. And, of course, Brenda meets her end with nary any work from the killer. Instead, she is slain by moviegoers tired of her mid-film interjections. Both the penis stabbing and the image of watching a pope lookalike stab a woman for talking during Big Momma’s House will stay with you. 

Best line: “I got you! I got you on camera! You on candid camera now!” 

The Opening Scene, Scary Movie 2

You might not believe me if I told you that Scary Movie 2 opens with Emmy-nominated actress Veronica Cartwright singing Hello, Dolly! before breaking out into Mystikal’s “Shake Ya Ass!,” but that’s exactly where the sequel drops us. What follows is a clown car of cameos, including Andy Richter, Natasha Lyonne and James Woods, as they act out an Exorcist-style possession storyline that spurs the film’s plotline, which drops slasher films and focuses instead on popular late-90s haunted house fare such as The House on Haunted Hill and The Haunting. 

Best line: “This is the real shit!” — a random partygoer as Father Harris (Andy Richter) starts to play Mystikal on the piano 

The Dinner Scene, Scary Movie 2

Trading in slasher films for haunted house humor, and parodying late 1990s films such as House on Haunted Hill and The Haunting, this rushed sequel has a much different feel than its predecessor, but it still has several memorable moments and characters. As with the first, Scary Movie 2 shines in ensemble moments, when the cast’s characters are allowed to play off one another, including the dinner scene, one of the film’s extended group scenes. The humor ranges from character-driven (“I see you eyeing the first piece!”) to gross out (“Hiawatha!” Hanson screams, with a cooked turkey on his erect penis). While Scary Movie 2 overall relies on far more sight gags than the predecessor, this scene most captures the jokes-per-minute ratio of the first, all leading up to the moment the strong-handed caretaker Hanson (Christopher Elliott) vomits onto a pie, ruining the meal. 

Best line: “My germs!” — Hanson, shouting, as he shoves his hand into a pie 

The Mr. Kittles Fight, Scary Movie 2

In a film of pretty absurd premises, none works better than the fight between Cindy and Mr. Kittles, an animatronic cat who goes HAM on Cindy for pooping in her litterbox. On paper, the scene shouldn’t work, but it’s hard to deny how much Faris is selling it as she gets into a fight — complete with a beer bottle being cracked open and used as a weapon — while fighting with a possessed cat. In a fight that includes Cindy getting litter sprayed in her eye and the two trading jobs like champion fighters, we all win. 

Best line: “Help! My pussy’s gone crazy!” — Cindy as she deals with a possessed cat 

Brenda vs. the Girl from the RIng, Scary Movie 3

One of the enduring anchors of the franchise is the friendship between Cindy and Brenda. And, in Scary Movie 3, which parodies Signs and The Ring, their friendship comes front and center in the absence of the Wayans Brothers.

In the second movie, we see Brenda morph from eccentric best friend to protector, helping Cindy defeat a possessed skeleton. (“Cindy! This is bones!”) And that fighting spirit continues into Scary Movie 3 when we see her face off against Tabitha (Marny Eng), the little girl possessing the tapes in this send-up of The Ring and Signs. Because Brenda has just faked a realistic seizure, Cindy doesn’t believe her when she says that the TV is leaking or that the demon has sprung into real life and challenged her to a fight. What follows is great physical comedy from Hall, who continues to scenesteal each entry. 

Best line: “I really sold that shit, didn’t I?” — Brenda, upon peeing to convince Cindy she had a seizure 

The Growing Hat, Scary Movie 3

While Cindy deals with The Ring-esque events in the film’s A plot, Tom Logan (Charlie Sheen) is navigating an alien invasion a la Signs in the film’s other half. That brings us to many interactions directly spoofing the M. Nighty Shaymalan film, including this interaction between Logan and Trooper Champlin (Camryn Manehim), whose hat continues growing with each passing shot of her on camera. Logan even begins catching on to the fact that her hat seems to be gaining mass with every passing moment, to the point that she can’t even fit into her squad car by the scene’s end. It might be a small moment, but it’s one that has endured as a meme far beyond the film’s theatrical run. 

Best line: “I doubt you’ll be seeing anything strange on this farm for a long time.” — Champlin, as she struggles to get into her police vehicle. 

Denise Richards cameo, Scary Movie 3

Scary Movie 3 was released while its star, Charlie Sheen, and Denise Richards were married, leading her to make a cameo as his deceased wife, Annie Logan. Like the scene it parodies from Signs, the film sees Annie dying as she has been hit by a car and requests her husband’s presence to say her final words. After agreeing not to remarry after her death, he starts to downplay her dying words when she asks him to take a vow of celibacy. “Oh cruel fate, shroud my wife’s dying words in mystery!” he yells as Annie screams “No sex!” 

Best line: “Look what happens to the taco.” — Champlin, trying to explain to Tom Logan that his wife has been split in half.