Geena Rocero and Playboy Partner to Celebrate Transgender Awareness Week

I used to move through the world in a reactive state. That’s easy to do as an empath with complex PTSD. However, I recognize that the current administration—and those devoted to gaslighting, exploiting and destroying the lives of historically disenfranchised people—are only successful if they can weaponize our fight-or-flight response. Therefore, I’m strategic about where I place my energy and how I respond to daily attacks on my dignity and personhood. I’ve learned to stay several steps ahead by not allowing them to exhaust me with their mental gymnastics. I’m constantly reminding myself to budget my bandwidth.

There has been consistent dialogue around healing and self-care in the world of activism. More of us are realizing that our work isn’t sustainable unless we afford ourselves access to the same wellness we advocate for others to have. At one point, I was fighting so relentlessly and without pause, that the rush of adrenaline numbed me to the fact that I’d been wounded. We have to prioritize the healing of our own trauma in order to be as effective in the healing of others.

In Hollywood, there has been a long-prevailing one-dimensional idea of what sexuality is. Women have historically been seen as sex objects, rather than as autonomous sexual beings. Sexual depictions, in their rare occurrences, were prescriptive, rather than exploratory. Luckily that is changing. We are living in a time where every aspect of sexuality is being depicted and delved into in-depth. Diverse kinds of sexuality are finally being represented. We’re even seeing naked men on the screen for the first time!

When I first started working in television, there was absolutely no role model for me. Now, trans women are seen as a viable work force in the industry—as they should be. The more the world sees diversity in television shows and movies, the more it becomes normalized and accepted by the world at large.

We often think of masculinity as the absence of femininity. The classic litmus test we offer men is, “How can you use your power to find success and highlight that success back to the world?” When we take all of that away, what’s left? How do we define ourselves not as the opposite of this or in possession of that, but as something that is tethered to our individual spirit?

Society’s narrow definitions of masculinity and femininity simply aren’t working. We’re in a place in our culture where we are starting to understand that gender is a spectrum of various identities and expressions. We need to move away from thinking of things in terms of the binary and create space for people who are on this spectrum. People should feel empowered to explore their gender and express it in different ways.

This new generation coming up is the truth. They are more inclined to identity somewhere on the spectrum of gender, be open to the fluidity of sexuality and fight for their right to be their authentic selves. Hopefully as we move forward as a society, gender won’t matter as much. It isn’t the whole of what makes a person and it shouldn’t be a marker of someone’s worth.

We live in a world that fears women who own their sexuality. When pleasure is politicized, it can be used as a tool to contain and control women–especially trans women, like myself, who often feel out of touch with our own bodies as a result of the stigmas past lovers leave lingering in our bedrooms.

There was a time when I’d give it all away. I’d leave myself vulnerable to those who found strength in fracturing my self-esteem. I was addicted to pleasing those more privileged than me. Those transitory exchanges gave me a false sense of validation and acceptance in a society that says, as a woman of trans experience, I don’t exist. Privileged lovers leveraged pleasure in order to gate-keep the sense of normalcy that I longed for.

The first step I took toward accessing true pleasure and sexual satisfaction was accepting that I was worthy of it. There’s power in loving every inch of your skin, whatever shape or form it comes in. Once I owned the woman I’d become, I began to question if others were worthy enough to access her. I began setting some parameters for the kind of partner I was willing to allow in, and as a result I began to experience an elevated level of reciprocal pleasure.

I’ve learned that pleasure is sacred and should be valued as such. Pleasure can fuel your soul and sex can be an elixer for self-healing. We can, and should, use our bodies as a conduit for our own pleasure, not only as a vessel for someone else’s.

Pleasure can also be a catalyst for change. It has helped me evolve into the woman I am today. A woman who has a high sense of self-worth, and who no longer craves the taste of privilege in other people’s eyes. A woman who understands she is worthy of being worshipped and who finds truth in a pleasure that can no longer be used against her.

The nature of organized resistance is ever-evolving. By definition, it always responds to both the realities of any particular context, and the demands of a particular geopolitical climate. Within those changing contexts and structures, LGBTQ+ activists have had enduring throughlines in social movements. In progressive spaces, LGBTQ+ inidividuals push movements to challenge assumptions about bodies, power, gender and desire.

Once I began to understand just how much structural injustice exists in the world, I set about continuing that legacy. It is impossible for me to remain passive to oppression—particularly given the many privileges I enjoy. I try to use deliberate and self-critical action to dismantle injustice in all aspects of my life. Whether I’m organizing cash bail payments in my community, challenging my kid’s school to create a safer environment for trans and gender non-conforming students or working to reduce harm by limiting the violence of our legal regime, activism is a central part of my life.

However, I recognize that activism can be inclusive or exclusive depending on who is leading and what kind of work is being facilitated. I try to approach activism with humility and curiosity. For me the key is learning through engaging with people whose experience of the world differs from my own. Through our collective power, we can disrupt systems that benefit and privilege the few at the cost of the many and create a more just future.