I’m unsure this very magazine would exist if it were always easy for men to ascertain what it is women want. It is one of life’s foundational mysteries, even as a woman myself. But the holidays are nevertheless a time where we all must rise to the challenge. If you still need a little help, we’ve got you. We’ve tapped the minds of several women — including some of our 2025 Playmates — to guide you in the process.
First Off, You Probably Should Have Been Listening to the Hints She Dropped All Year. I’m Sorry!
“Women don’t want random gifts chosen without really listening,” says Louisa Ama, Miss October 2025. “Most women leave hints all year long through conversations, small comments and the things they naturally gravitate towards. This year, I’m giving very personal gifts inspired by people’s passions and moments in their lives. I pay attention throughout the year, so Christmas becomes a chance to turn those little details into something meaningful.”
Is there a new hobby she got into this year? A destination she can’t stop mentioning? A restaurant she keeps sending you Reels about? She very likely has already told you some of the things she might like. Fortunately, there’s still time to show her you’ve been listening all along.
Make a Memory
If you don’t have that perfect object in mind, Louisa suggests offering her an experience, instead. “I love presents that come with memories attached, she says. “The kind you still smile about months later, because they turn into a story, not just something sitting on a shelf. Some of my favorite gifts are shared moments. A weekend away together, a ski trip with friends, a party week, or a spa weekend with your boyfriend. Ideally one you could still enjoy with a friend later, just in case.”
Gayeanne Hazlewood, Miss February 2025, has similar advice. “Honestly, I love experiences,” she says. “A spa day, a weekend getaway! Anything that feels relaxing and memorable.”
Offer Sensuality and Nourishment — In Other Words, Feed Her
Two words that come to mind for romantically-inclined holiday gift giving are nourishing and sensual. Evoke the erotic without doing so explicitly.
One very straightforward way to do that is to feed her. Or rather, help her feed herself. I personally would be thrilled with a subscription to some sort of steak delivery service, such as one from Snake River Farms, Porter Road or even Omaha Steaks. My true dream would be to own a chest freezer filled with pasture-raised, grass-fed beef from a local farm, but I don’t quite have the space for that in my apartment.
Going more of the “girl dinner” route, there are also several charcuterie board options. You can order one-time boards from companies like Boarderie, or go all out with a monthly subscription from Platterful. Wine-soaked toscano cheese isn’t technically on any aphrodisiac lists, but close enough.
If food doesn’t feel like the right route, there’s also sleep. Silk is inherently sexy, and something like a set of silk pillowcases or a robe from Blissy evokes that without being overly sexual. None of this is to say gifts always have to avoid being sexual — there’s room for that — but it can’t be the only tone you hit.
Go for the Classics
Unless you know for a fact that your girl isn’t the jewelry type, it remains a solid route. Both Louisa and Gayeanne included it in their recommendations. The key, though, is to keep it simple and classic unless you know for sure a specific piece is her style. A gold tennis bracelet, diamond earrings — traditional pieces that can be worn for a lifetime.
Perfume is another go-to gift for women, one that can be hit or miss. It’s again best to know her style, but that is also something that the people who work at perfume counters can assist with. Go for luxury, established brands like Kilian and Maison Frances Kurkdjian, or something a bit more hip and niche like Heretic and D.S. & Durga. Discovery sets work, too.
The same logic applies to candles: they have to be luxury or niche. Mykeesha Nelson, Miss August 2025, says she is specifically asking for candles from Maison Louis Marie.
A Note on Lingerie
Lingerie is indeed a gift many women would be happy to receive. I think there’s something particularly fun about a partner choosing lingerie thinking, this is something I’d love to see on you — or off, and getting to see a bit of your aesthetic taste accordingly. That said: it can’t be the only gift you give her. It should be treated more like a bonus gift. And even so, there are some rules to follow. It’s best to go higher end: think brands like Honey Birdette or Agent Provocateur for full lingerie sets, garter belts and thigh-highs included. Mariemur if you’re kinky. Alternatively, you can go for something still very sexy but a bit more wearable and comfortable on a regular basis. I’m a fan of these sheer and sultry but underwire-free sets from Titov.
Just Ask Her
Some girls know exactly what they want and aren’t afraid to tell you. I asked Nicolaia Rips, Senior Editor at i-D and NYC It Girl what she was asking for this year and she responded in a flash: “I want a Vespa, this print of Marcel Duchamp playing chess with nude Eve Babitz, and a leopard print suitcase.” You’ve gotta admire the specificity.
Or, If All Else Fails, Ask Her Friends
Jordyn Johnson, Miss January 2025, doesn’t quite trust men to choose a gift entirely on their own. Rather than scramble around and picking something random, there’s a tried and tested solution: ask the other women in her life.
“I don’t think it’s safe for most men to pick out gifts on their own, you should almost always send your man direct hints to what you want or he should ask one of your friends,” she says. “I am a very specific girl, so if my man decided to pick something on his own I would be scared.”
While you might be running out of time, you still have the chance to ask her friends, sisters or mom for insight. As a bonus, you’ll probably earn some brownie points with them, too.
